Kenders' Musings

So I have been looking for some old friends. Finally found them (the internet is amazing) and am back in touch with them. She is doing well and her daughter is so grown up and amazingly talented. She's a cutie too. Gonna be trouble now that the guys are poking around too. So I am heading to hang out for a day or two with them, maybe try ice skating again and will be off line for a couple of days it looks like. Hope you guys have a great new years. See ya' next year. (unless I come up with something important to say)

The Christ was born this sacred day
Rejoice hallelujah
The bells ring out and angels wing
Rejoice hallelujah
The choirs voice of Seraphim
Rejoice hallelujah
Sing to His Glory the King of Kings
Rejoice hallelujah

and this one:

Untitled
Raise a glass my dear old friends
Raise a toast on high
For Our holy day is here at last
Christmas Day is nigh
The day of our own saviors birth
Redemptions promise born
Our lives are now made whole again
Our souls no longer torn
Everlasting life is ours
Birthed upon a cross
While in this life we may know death
It’s not the final loss
His life He gave so you may live
No greater love can be
Accept that love with open arms
And heaven you will see

“Does love exist?” asked the wizened old man
who sat at the bar next to me
“I love this beer” I quickly shot back
“What other love could there be?”
“The love” he says “that grabs your heart.
The kind that won’t let go
A love that passes on thru death
And lives forever you know”
Says I “that love lives not in this world friend,
I’m certain it is gone”
“Then come with me” the old man bade
“We won’t be gone too long”
He walked me thru the baby ward
where a mother held her new child
And in her eyes I saw a pure love
which I knew would last more than awhile
He took me to the mission inn
where homeless go to eat
The serving man behind the counter
had rags wrapped round his feet
“Old man” I said “should you not be
the one receiving this fare?”
He smiled a mostly toothless grin
and said “look over there”
I looked to where his ladle showed
a family huddled close
With their meals laid out in front of them
offering up a toast
“To God” they said,
“as He provides for those who need the aid”
To men who help with rag wrapped feet
his thanks he simply bade
Next we went to the grave yard where
an old widow knelt in the dirt
Cleaning the stone laid atop her dear mate
even though her aged knees surely hurt…
He took me aside to a mountaintop
where three crosses stood side by side
And showed me the spot on Jerusalems soil
where for all our sins He did die…
“You see the love that burns beyond our petty lives,
you cannot deny its flame”
And in the shadow of that cross
I hung my head in shame…
The love that burns brightest is the hardest to grab, its for this love He did die…
And I saw the love burn
and I felt my redemption
And in the bright darkness I cried….

Merry Christmas. May God hold you in the palm of his hand. And to all our soldiers not able to make it home this season (snaks this one is for you) Thank you.

goes out...cuz it aint me shoveling snow....everything happens for a reason....

It's snowing here....in the desert...been snowing since about dawn and gonna keep on for many many more hours....take your global warming and shove it ya lying sack...

The last time I lived in this damnable desert here's what I got in November;





Now I wake up to this;







Only four days to Solstice....can't wait for summer....

I watched you walk away today
To go back to his arms
Our time here is so fleeting now
We must not raise alarms
But one day soon the time will come
When you can run away
And I’ll be waiting for your love
Just as I was today

This one is completely her fault....I think

Hearts Revival

He sat alone within the crowd
Which wandered past his chair
He felt invisible to all
Seeming not to care
He sat alone within the crowd
Which bustled gaily by
To watch the world over his cup
While letting his soul die
Most e’ery day ‘twas just like this
He sat alone to see
The never-ending mumbling mass
Of rank humanity
His soul was black within his chest
His heart was full of dread
With every dawn his anger grew
At not waking up dead
He barely noticed those who passed
Until one fateful day
She wandered lithely into view
Bathed in the suns soft ray
She did what others had not dared
She stopped and saw him there
While staring deep into his eyes
His senses screamed beware
Those smoky eyes, her intense gaze
Could be a deadly thing
But not for him he understood
His heart did not love sing
She wandered o’er gracefully
To sit across his bench
Gently asking him his name
His answer made her flinch
I am the death of love, he claimed
I steal away the soul
Of women who consort with me
My heart is made of coal
Then come with me she bade of him
I see the lie within
Your heart lives still and craves the love
Denial is a sin
Against his will, he took her hand
Standing straight and tall
Following those swaying hips
His facade began to fall
She led him to her quiet room
While bolting up the door
She slowly let her clothing drop
Upon the bare wood floor
She smiled shyly as she asked
If he would do the same
His hands they shook as once again
He played the timeless game
The love they shared within her bed
Was gentle, deep and true
Time now passed as only time
Wrapped up in love can do
Many years have passed along
Since that lass noticed me
A truer love I know for sure
Was never, nor could be
So watch the world walk by I say
Watch closely as they pass
You never know when one will come
To prove the perfect lass

She walks along
Alone upon
The quiet midnight streets
She smiles at
The strangers who
By chance she sweetly meets
She walks alone
The whole dark night
Lost in her reverie
She speaks to ghosts
Locked in her heart
Of things which cannot be
She hears the whispers
Of the past
Echo within her mind
With hope she can
Go back again
Her happiness to find
Those lost to her
Speak gentle words
Of love and brighter days
She walks alone
On darkened streets
Locked in her minds dark ways

Your eyes say watch me
Your lips say kiss me
Your hands say hold me
Your words say miss me

I felt like reposting this. My friend Brian Travis has a new CD coming out in a couple of months and I have the honor of being of being on of the few select people receiving previews of the newly remastered songs. Tidal Wave is the first one of that bunch, and is simply a very fitting song, given recent history and I felt it needed reposting. I plan on interviewing BT soon.

I think in the spirit of today I will dedicate this song. The person who it is dedicated to will know it is for them.

Sitting in the sun
Ya' been wasting all the water in the well
Ya let the meter run
Ya been running outta time
That ya can't afford to sell
Once you fell from grace
Can you almost see your face
Can you almost taste the bittersweet salt water
Of that tidal wave?
All the sand beneath your feet
It took a billion years to complete
That hour that you spent
Blowing all you had
In a relative instance
Yeah once you fell from grace
Can you almost see your face
Can you almost taste the bittersweet salt water
Of that tidal wave?
Carefully they'll wash your dreams away
destroy all that you made
turn your castles into sand
disrupt all of your plans
you're not careful its not long before
you're treading water far from shore
Now you're sinking low
You've been thinking about
all the things you're letting go
Made a big mistake this time
all that matters now
Is whatcha gonna do with the rest of your life?
Now you can't replace, recapture or erase
mistakes were made and now there's only music left to face
Once you fell from grace and there's still dreams for you to chase
Can you almost taste the bittersweet saltwater
Can you almost taste the bittersweet saltwater
Of that tidal wave

I adore your gentle hands
The way your cheeks do flush
When words are whispered in your ear
That make you fiercely blush
Shudders course through my dark soul
Whenever you draw near
As soft caresses from sweet lips
Allay my raging fear
Your arms encircle chasing off
The ghosts which haunt my heart
While quiet words of tenderness
Heal what once was torn apart
Your tender eyes which hide such pain
Confront my hesitation
Within those eyes I see such hope
They melt my reservation
My redemption have you brought
With words and gestures bold
My muse you have saved my life from
A death in bitter cold

So all the gays are gonna take the day off and go volunteer to show how vital they are to society.

In other words we get a day without pretentious snots bitching about window treatments and making snide comments about "breeders." We get a day without, what? waiters....interior decorators....male hair stylists (not that a man would know about that since we get our hair cut at a real barber shop, the kind that have nudie mags on the back tables)....maitre d's....I guess West Hollywood will come to a screeching stop.

The best part about the day without a gay is we wont have to listen to Ryan Seacrest babble on about shit.

Now at least these guys are doing something good. They are going to take the day and go do charity work. Not like when we had a Day Without an Illegal when they all marched in the streets and shut down traffic. At least the gay folks are gonna go do some charity work but it makes me wonder...just how many poverty stricken people need their house decorated anyway?

"You have made your bed" is a phrase recurring in my life a lot lately.

It applies to the country voting in Obama. It applies to someone I know.

As for the country I will do what I can to help fix it.

As to that person, I have done what I can, choices were made and I will always regret what has happened.

Someday I hope to look back on this time and be able to say "I helped fix that" and "I am glad things are right again."

I am gonna take a break. No blogging for a few days....no FB, no twitter, no myspace...no checking stats, email or anything else....I am gonna turn off this computer for awhile and find my head....and the other parts of my I seem to have misplaced.

I can't say it any better than this.





Time in a Bottle

If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that Id like to do
Is to save every day
Till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
Id save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
Ive looked around enough to know
That youre the one I want to go
Through time with

If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
Ive looked around enough to know
That youre the one I want to go
Through time with

So life is intensely complicated right now. I find myself in a relationship beset by problems. Hiding ones activities from someone is not something that lends itself to having an easy and enjoyable relationship. Only being able to be someones friend openly for short bursts at certain times in certain places makes for a kind of stress that is both intense and exciting, while being draining and aggravating.

Hopefully this can all change by summer at latest.

First off I want to say thank you so kindly to all who have posted on my wall on facebook (and other places, you know who you are and I am tired of cleaning those comments off of my own bathroom wall) the barrage of well wishes. Today I turn 40. Not a great accomplishment for most. Given that at two and a half years old I was given less than a week to live, I would say 40 is, indeed, one hell of an accomplishment.

Though I am beset what some call major health issues, they never stop me. I hate whiny crybabies who let minor things set them back or keep them from living life as fully as they possibly can and I refuse to be one.

To my old friends, from faire, sfvrc, SPR, WAR, TWA and staclu; thank you for standing by me as you have. You never let me down, never let me quit and have always been there when I needed you most. I hope I have returned the favor when needed.

To the new ones who have been appearing in droves (facebook and twitter are from HELL I tell you) may this be the start of many years of great friendship, hearty laughs and shared adventures.

God Bless you all, and thank you. Now as my gift to you, a bit of doggerel;

For four decades I've trod these boards
Forty years behind this mask
Polite applause, no booing please, a rose is all I ask
For forty years I've been surprised at what life had in store
So here's to watching life unfold
At least for forty more

I live in the land of sunshine and chicks
Of finely made cleavage and movie star dicks
The city it stretches for many a mile
Drive all day long see a thousand fake smiles
From the coast to the mountains it lies like a scar
Where you must ride the bus if you aint got a car
It is peopled with folks from all o'er the place
Of every creed, every country and every race
We got bums who were stars and stars who were bums
Out here enough money turns rivals to chums
We claim the Car Culture and we give you the shows
With weekly cliffhangers to keep you on your toes
We have stars on our sidewalks and pie in the sky
Where a deal is a deal is a deal is a lie
We've got earthquakes and mudslides and large forest fires
You can't hear birds singing for the squeal of the tires
But I wouldn't trade any of this home of mine
From the mountains to seaside she looks mighty fine
From the shores of Redondo on up to the Valley
I love living in this strange place We call Cali

The media empire that is...

The election of Barack Obama was supposed to save the country, cause all of those other countries who spend an inordinate amount of time hating the U.S to love us (even when it was the U.S. which allowed them the ability to be free enough to do so) and usher in an age of "kumbuyah, let's all hold hands and dance around the altar of no more war" bullshit.

Sixty three million people in the U.S. stuck their heads right up their ass and voted for obama's "hope" and "change" and now we have proof of the vapidity of the folks who honestly, really thought if we just elected obama their kumbuy-fucking-yah dreams would coalesce.

PMSNBC daytime anchor Alex witt actually said this;

"you certainly can't expect things to change on a dime overnight....There had been such a global outpouring of affection, respect, hope, with the new administration coming in, that precisely these kinds of attacks, it was thought -- at least hoped -- would be dampered down. But in this case it looks like Barack Obama is getting a preview of things to come."



Now what kind of a retarded, deluded dumbass must one be to actually BELIEVE something as profoundly stupid as the election of barack obama is going to end terror attacks? Second, how in the hell does someone who is so blatantly an utter fucking moron secure a job on a news sho...oh wait...PMSNBC...got it.

To all of you who actually hobbled down to the polls on the 4th of november to cast your ballot for the obamessiah, here's fair warning that the "I Told You So, DUMBASS Cluebat of Truth and Mockery" is going to be used liberally (pun completely intentional) for at least the next four years. If you wish to avoid the beatings email me and I will send you a Silica Umbilcus which will once again allow you to see the world and maybe, just maybe, not have such delusions of epic proportions.

Well that's great cuz I love t-ball.

Fucking LUH-oooozeER!!!

*OK so it's a day early....I have officially lost track of days...not having a set schedule for work and doing the same thing everyday (get up at dawn, have coffee, ride bike, work out, run on machine while checking emails, hang out with Ultra Cool Sarcastic Son, sometimes go to work at lucrative job, flirt and have sushi before sliding home at some ungodly hour to do it all again) makes one lose track of the fact that days have names for a reason.

In a new feature here in KM we bring you maudlin mondays. Each monday morning a post will go up not suited for those of you addicted to the snark about politics which is the usual stock in trade here. I am simply not in a snarky mood regarding politics lately. I have much bigger (to me) things on my mind. Besides, you guys are doing a bang up job. So here's todays Maudlin Post.

Raindrops on a rose

I saw raindrops perched so soft
Upon a rose this morn
As I awoke to watch the dawn
To see the new day born
The skies were clouded o’er in
A slate hued shade of grey
I thought it fitting that the sky
Would match my heart this way
I saw raindrops perched with care
Upon a rose this day
Reminding me of times since past
When at love we would play
Her petals lay in sweet repose
They shimmered in the air
They drew forth thoughts of petals flushed
As gently you lay there
For seeing drops upon the rose
Reminded me of you
It’s sad how memories can come
From seeing morning dew
I saw raindrops perched so softly
On a rose it’s true
Which caused my soul to weep again
With memories of you

Terrorist scum attack in the night
Taking glee in the lives that they took
Believing it's holy to slaughter those folks
Who reject their damnable book
They declare holy war on freedom and say
We must convert or be damned
To a life subjugated by pisslam's harsh rule
No freedom, no Christ and no ham
The media slugs who back evils ploy
Should be lined up and shot dead
After of course we beat them with chains
For lacking a brain in their head
So muzzies have claimed it is their way or naught
We must convert or submit
To them I just say bring it on, let us dance,
You'll soon be a dead piece of shit

...you move with the rustle of the leaves and if we don't catch you sometimes you're gone.....you are a real kender...brilliant people tend to have a problem sticking with one thing for very long...you are brilliant - blindingly brilliant, that's why I love how you kender your way around...

Grab Kender quickly or not at all......wise words...

Girl on phone: I love the weather today, it's the perfect temperature

Me: Really? What ya wearing?

Her: A toe ring

Me:.......I'm on my way.

The words she spoke
Inspired hope
My heart it was aflutter
She talked of ropes and ball gags too
Whipped cream and peanut butter
She talked of pleasure and of pain
Of whips she whispered sweetly
She tantalized my inner beast
With hands strapped down so neatly
I'll know torture she has said
From which I'll not recover
It all awaits within her hands
As I will soon discover

With the upcoming relaunch of our internet radio station (formerly "Wide Awakes Radio") I have taken to ranting on Blog Talk Radio to get back to ranting and raving and maybe tossing in some great music you have never heard before.

To those who listened in to todays premiere (on such short notice) thank you. Podcast is available here and don't forget to subscribe as a friend. If you have a show topic feel free to send suggestions along via email.

And to she who checked out the post meant for her, keep checking back....smiles sent your way with hopes for finding yourself again with what you had before still there.

I sit and watch my inbox

Longing for yet fearing

A message sent from you;

I sit and listen to my phone

I know not what to do;

Shall I call you, shall I write

Shall I stay alone;

I sit and watch my inbox and

I listen for the phone;

I’ve said my piece;

I’ve offered up

My love complete and true;

I sit and watch my inbox

With fear I’ll hear from you;

I fear your heart will lose the love;

I fear your heart will fail;

I fear your fears will cause me to

Exist in my own hell;

My fears have caused your love to fail;

It caused you pain and grief;

I know that once we were as one

That time now seems so brief;

Your heart must know

The truth I speak and

That I love you still;

I sit and wait to hear from you

And fear I never will

So many things are causing time to stand still. The coronation for one. The worry about the obamessiahs first moves in office have me tied up in knots.

Will he head to the center and tick off his base? Will he head left and make them happy and drive the country into an even worse economic depression? Will he somehow find a way to actually govern that doesn't drive us even deeper into a morass of socialist crap? Will he find a way to do what he should? Or will he leave us hanging in the void over the abyss, never to extract ourselves from where we are heading right now?

Waiting for the things to happen causes a fearful lump in my chest. I know only the passage of time will show the future, but waiting on the future to get here is a achingly painful process.

time drags
time heals
time flies
time kills
time lost
time found
time sucks
when you're not around

Been away....look for new stuff later today....it occurred to me today that it is going to take awhile to sort some stuff out....and if it takes too long...well sometimes cheese goes bad....

COLORS

sun rises on a gray day
blue mind black heart
yellow dresses running
in the oh so green park....
red vision wanes
replaced by weathered stains
white streaks running
down the sides
where nails have entered
turns the tide
the wind which sweeps
the lonely passes
lets me see
through rose tinted glasses

I have been told I am addictive, in a possibly good way. Luckily I have few readers so the chance of the DEA getting this information is slim, so I have no fear of being listed as a Schedule One narcotic and suddenly finding myself by prescription only.

Maybe I can get the FDA to make an RDA of Kender. It 's worth exploring. But how does one does that out?

TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE ..... FROM MEN WHO'VE HAD
ENOUGH . . .

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't
ask us. We refuse to answer.

Learn to work the toilet seat. We're not talking
Quantum Mechanics here,
it's a very simple device. If it's up, put it
down.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
girls, don't expect us to act
like soap opera guys.

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not
quests to see if we can
find the perfect present, again!

If you ask a question you don't want an answer
to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.

Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live
with it.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
are prepared to discuss
such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation,
or monster trucks.

Weekends equal sports. It's like the full moon or
the changing of the
tides. Let it be.

Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never
going to think of it that way.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear is fine.Really.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this
one: Subtle hints don't work.

Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints
don't work. Just tell us what
you want!

No, we don't know what day it is. We never will.
Mark anniversaries on the
calendar.

Peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing
from point blank range.
We're bound to miss sometimes.

Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes
you think we'd be any good
at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look
good with your dress?

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That's what we do.

Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor. Get over it.

Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

Check your oil.

It is neither in your best interest nor ours to
take the quiz together. No,
it doesn't matter which quiz.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in
an argument. All comments
become null and void after 7 days.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
and one of the ways makes
you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Men perve at beautiful women, it's a fact of
life. It's in the genes. It's
also in the jeans.

You can either tell us to do something, OR, tell
us how to do something,
but not both.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have
to say during commercials.

ALL men see in only 16 colours. Peach is a fruit,
not a colour.

If it itches, it will be scratched.

Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for
you.

If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we
will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not
worth the hassle.

Women with large breasts who wear push up bras
and low cut, revealing tops
lose their right to complain when men look at
them.

I can feel it...
dying...
withering slowly in her absence...
the edges crumbling in the winds of change....
each piece tearing away with pain and regret...
blackened chunks fall into the abyss of my soul...
while I listen for the impact that never comes.....
signaling a depth of despair too deep for human sense to measure....
Who knew hearts died so painfully yet so quietly?

Regardless of the confidence I may show, I am very very much terribly humble about actually having some talent that's mine....I really think I just channel beauty and grace and pain and joy and sorrow.....I find the words which fit, which cause hearts to dance and souls to sing, tears to fall and fears to wing.....

What Secrets Lie

What secrets lie
Behind those eyes
Staring so intense…
The pain of love
Of loss and hope
Of things which make no sense…
What quiet thoughts
Reside within
The world
Behind your eyes
Regrets of loves
Lost or found
The sting of others lies?
Those thoughts which live
Their secret lives
Behind those eyes so deep
Cannot stay hid away for long
Your secrets will soon seep
They come in tears and sobs
Which wrack
Your very soul with pain
They cleanse your heart
And clear your mind
Like summers gentle rain
So hide those thoughts
Behind your eyes
Which haunt my hopes and dreams
The thoughts you hide so deftly lass
Are crystal clear to me

What I leave,
When you go,
What I see,
And what you show,
And what I guess,
And when I don't,
Is something you all ready, all ready know,

Chorus:
I can't live without,
All I think about,
All I want is you,
You're all I dream about,
I can't live without,
All I want is you,

The things I do,
I go through,
And all I see,
When I'm awake,
And what I make,
The shit that I take,
Is something you all ready, all ready know

Chorus:
I can't live without,
All I think about,
All I want is you,
You're all I dream about,
I can't live without,
All I want is you,

Ohhh,...
Is you,
Is you,
Is you,
Is you,
You're all I dream about,
That I can't live without,
All I want is you

Chorus:
I can't live without,
All I think about,
All I want is you,
You're all I dream about,
I can't live without,
All I want is you,
I just can't live without you,
When all I think about is you,
And all I want is you

I love it when a plan comes together......especially after working all night on planning counter measures to a protest....

And the men who hold high places
Must be the ones who start
To mold a new reality
Closer to the heart
Closer to the heart
The blacksmith and the artist
Reflect it in their art
They forge their creativity
Closer to the heart
Closer to the heart

Philosophers and ploughmen
Each must know his part
To sow a new mentality
Closer to the heart
Closer to the heart
You can be the captain
I will draw the chart
Sailing into destiny
Closer to the heart

There is unrest in the forest
There is trouble with the trees
For the maples want more sunlight
And the oaks ignore their pleas

The trouble with the maples
(And they're quite convinced they're right)
They say the oaks are just too lofty
And they grab up all the light
But the oaks can't help their feelings
If they like the way they're made
And they wonder why the maples
Can't be happy in their shade

There is trouble in the forest
And the creatures all have fled
As the maples scream 'Oppression!'
And the oaks just shake their heads

So the maples formed a union
And demanded equal rights
'The oaks are just too greedy
We will make them give us light'
Now there's no more oak oppression
For they passed a noble law
And the trees are all kept equal
By hatchet, axe and saw

I have received some complaints about my posting lately...."Where's the political snark? Where's the anger at the ways things have gone? Where's the Kender I know?" specifically.

Yeah...not much in that vein here lately. It may be back...maybe as it was, maybe less so maybe more so. I am still the same Snark Master Third Degree I have always been, I have just been focused on things much more important (to me, which really is what matters) behind the scenes.

So until further notice this is a much more personal blog than it has been traditionally. Deal with it, and know I do what I must when I must, and right now this needs doing more than one more voice in the world yelling about grassroots action and socialist doom.

You want that? Go watch Fox.

You're My World
The Shelter From The Rain
You're The Pills
That Take Away My Pain
You're The Light
That Helps Me Find My Way
You're The Words
When I Have Nothing To Say

And In This World
Where Nothing Else Is True
Here I am
Still Tangled Up In You
I'm Still Tangled Up In You
Still Tangled Up In You

You're The Fire
That Warms Me When I'm Cold
You're The Hand
I Have To Hold As I Grow Old
You're The Shore
When I am Lost At Sea
You're The Only Thing
That I Like About Me

And In This World
Where Nothing Else Is True
Here I am
Still Tangled Up In You
I'm Still Tangled Up In You

How Long Has It Been
Since This Storyline Began
And I Hope It Never Ends
And Goes Like This Forever

In This World
Where Nothing Else Is True
Here I am
Still Tangled Up In You
Tangled Up In You
I'm Still Tangled Up In You
Still Tangled Up In You

Dedicated...



Can you feel it crush you? does it seem to bring the worst in you out?
There's no running away from these things that hold you down.
Do they complicate you because they make you feel like this?
Of all the colors that you've shined, this is surely not your best.
But you should know these colors that you're shining are,

Surely not the best colors that you shine.
Surely not the best colors that you shine.

I know you feel alone yeah, and no one else can figure you out.
But don't you ever turn away from the ones that help you down.
Well they'd love to save you, don't you know they love to see you smile?
But these colors that you've shined, are surely not your style.
But you should know these colors that you're shining are,

Surely not the best colors that you shine.
Surely not the best colors that you shine.

I know you're feeling like you're lost,
But you should know these colors that you're shining are..
I know you're feeling like you're lost,
You feel you've drifted way too far,
Did you know these colors that youre shining are,

Surely not the best colors that you shine.
Surely not the best colors that you shine.

(Surely not the best)
I know you're feeling like you're lost,
(Colors that you shine)
But you should know these colors that you're shining are
(Surely not the best)
I know you're feeling like you're lost,
You feel you've drifted way too far.
Did you know these colors that you're shining are...

I built my life like my bike on a rigid frame
nothing bends, it only breaks into pieces and pieces,
I wait for a hope to arrive but it never came
Leaving me with only pain inside
I'm going off the deep end

I built my life on a rigid frame
So nothing bends it only breaks into pieces and pieces,
I waited for a hope to arrive but it never came
Leaving me with only pain inside
I'm going off the deep end

[Chorus]
Holding on is harder than it seems
when you're reaching for so much more
seems so much easier to just give in
when you're reaching for so much more

Another wasted Saturday so here I stay
where nothing seems to ever change, anyway, hey,
all this hype about life being great
where's the love for me these days
I'm goin off the deep end

[Chorus]
Holding on is harder than it seems
when you're reaching for so much more
seems so much easier to just give in
when you're reaching for so much more

Go!

[Chorus]
Holding on is harder than it seems
when you're reaching for so much more
seems so much easier to just give in
when you're reaching for so much more

Restless tonight
Cause I wasted the light
Between both these times
I drew a really thin line
It's nothing I planned
And not that I can
But you should be mine
Across that line

[Chorus:]
If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn't that be something

I promise I might
Not walk on by
Maybe next time
But not this time

Even though I know
I don't want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds

[Chorus x2]

Even though I know
I don't want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds

Even though I know
I don't want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds

[Chorus x3]

Dream of warm bright summer days
Dream of winter e'en's
Dream of springtime's fresh old ways
The gift of each new season
Dream of moonlit surfside walks
Dream of pounding tides
Dream of salt tinged air so brisk
Of lovers quiet sighs
Dream of hands so full of love
Dream of eyes that smile
Dream of words spoke softly now
They only last awhile
Dream of lives lived full and true
Dream not of tomorrow
These dreams will have to pull you through
For life is full of sorrow

Now I lay me down to sleep
With a president elect who is a creep
Our socialist nightmare has begun
So cling tightly to God and your trusty gun

Amen

someone walks in and gives you THAT look, and you just KNOW what happens next is gonna be indescribably indescribable?

Yeah....

You know that look you get from some girls, that narrowed eyed glare that says "I will have your testicles in a jar if you step outta line here"?

Yeah....

You know that look you give a girl that says "Uhhuh...I am so sca-wed of you" and their eyes squint even further, as if they look at you hard enough through small enough apertures their unspoken threat will take hold?

Yeah....

And you know how you laugh at that look?

Yeah....it was just like that, only more so.

I am a brat....and not gonna get much sleep today.

There is a lot of beauty in the world....my son is amazing....I am all better....I am spending my days passing the time by putting the past away.....and malia rocks

The election day is over,
The talking is done.
My party lost, your party won.
So let us be friends,
Let arguments pass.
I'll hug my elephant,
You kiss your ass.

Barack is my shepherd
I shall live in want
He causes me to bend over for the IRS
He leadeth me to the welfare line
He shrivels my soul
He leads me down a path of socialist ruin
For his names sake

Yeah tho I walk through the valley
Of the shadow of death
I fear all evil
For thou has taken
My gun and my rights of self protection

Surely, poverty and want shall follow me
All the days of democrat rule
And I shall dwell in a FEMA trailer, forever

We walked along the beach
At dawn
Our scent of love
Clinging to us
Like another lover
We took to the waves
Wearing only smiles
Taking joy in
Each others company
While the sky lightened
With a new days promise
The pounding of the waves
As the beating of
Our hearts
Strong and soothing
Your arms delicate as
Saplings branches
Encircled me
With warmth
Your eyes
Sparkling with
Moonlight glancing from
The swells
Your smile content
Peace radiating
From souls awash in
A moment stolen
From reality

Check him out at MySpace too.

So I am....

Words were spoken last night, honest and from the heart. I meant them. Completely. I have gone as far as I can, as far as I will ever be willing to go. If you can deal with that, if you can accept it for what it is, and not what you may think it should be or could be we can have what we have and be content.

If not then go....I shall miss those ebon locks cascading over my shoulder. I shall miss eyes of deepest cobalt blue, oh lithe one, but you know full well why what you want cannot happen. It no longer exists in me, stolen by another and destroyed.

You said "Say it out loud, say it where everyone will know how you feel."

So I am...

I am enamored of you. Time in your arms is always well spent. I enjoy your presence and charms, I adore your laugh, I get lost in your eyes and shudder when you so much as brush against me. More than that I am unable to give.

If it costs me your attention so be it. The ugly truth is better than a pretty lie.

Your Brat....

This arrived in my inbox today. I was touched and honored.

...your words... are daring... unflinching... persistent... even when your heart is breaking... some other force in you keeps trying... and that means there is a chance that right will prevail...

"Those Honored Dead"
"Why do you fly the flag today?"
My Grandson wants to know.
I fly it for the graveyards
Where the countless crosses grow.

I fly the flag for children
Whose fathers are a name.
A half-remembered memory
of a face within a frame.

I fly it for the families
of sons and daughters lost.
They know the price of liberty
How terrible the cost!

I fly the flag for veterans
who lost their youth in blood.
And saw their comrades slaughtered
in the carnage and the mud.

I fly it for the ones who marched
In cadence off to war
To close their eyes forever
Upon some foreign shore.

I fly the flag for grief poured out
Upon a granite wall.
The laying-on of hands that heals
The scars within us all.

I fly it for the sound of Taps---
That melancholy tune
That lays to rest those honored dead
Who always die too soon.

Copyright 1994 Marion G. Mahoney

My mind swirls with you
Moonglow upon palest skin
Anticipation

Ebon locks cascade
Showering in scents of lust
I must resist you

Eternity in
Eyes of deepest cobalt blue
Weakens my resolve

Lips so full yet small
Give oaths of pleasures unknown
I succumb to you

Oh such breathless fun
Discovery of litheness
Make me scream in brogue

Exactly five weeks to the day, almost to the hour even, from when my personal life imploded it all came full circle and righted itself. No details for youse mugs but new playmates have been secured (yes that's plural, and THAT happened this evening also) I secured an awesome job,again this evening) amazingly enough in this part of the world through connections. This job not only financially secures me but will cover start up costs on the new radio project in the works. Early spring is the roll out, name to be released closer to the date (but trust me it's an awesome one....fitting for the times, descriptive and just plain awesome. And it appears things fell into place just in time.

Because today I was pointed by my bud Jeff Blanco to this;

But from Barack Obama’s “Change.gov” website
America Serves

“When you choose to serve — whether it’s your nation, your community or simply your neighborhood — you are connected to that fundamental American ideal that we want life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness not just for ourselves, but for all Americans. That’s why it’s called the American dream.”

The Obama Administration will call on Americans to serve in order to meet the nation’s challenges. President-Elect Obama will expand national service programs like AmeriCorps and Peace Corps and will create a new Classroom Corps to help teachers in underserved schools, as well as a new Health Corps, Clean Energy Corps, and Veterans Corps. Obama will call on citizens of all ages to serve America,by developing a plan to require 50 hours of community service in middle school and high school and 100 hours of community service in college every year. Obama will encourage retiring Americans to serve by improving programs available for individuals over age 55, while at the same time promoting youth programs such as Youth Build and Head Start.

Now excuse me here for just one moment.

The last I checked we had the 13th Amendment outlawing slavery. At best this is indentured servitude, since it does possess a set system for not being forced to work. But what makes it so pernicious is it is aimed at our children. They aren't studying enough now, judging by our still dismal test scores compared to the rest of the world. Obama is going to REQUIRE them to "serve" now, placing then in even greater danger of bad grades and failure in school.

Or to be fair let's take another angle. Who, I wonder, would one think of when one thinks of those folks in society which have been forced by the state into community service against their will? Think real hard on this one folks, and ponder this for a moment. Every saturday (weather permitting) ojn the sides of roads in many states one can view as they roll along the beautiful highways and by ways of our scenic country folks in safety yellow vests (I know they look orange) picking up litter at the sides of those aforementioned roads.

They are there because they have been sentenced to community service for some petty crime of which they have been convicted.

So now one must ask themselves this simple question;

Is Obama going to indenture our children or simply treat them like petty criminals?

On the other side of this coin is obamas side, that community service strengthens the community and teaches them valuable skills. OF course it does, when you are teaching them thier most sought after skill is as a labor force so the literati and our Dear Leader can whisk by them in their limos and see a clean landscape.

What this does in reality is take away one more thing a parent is supposed to be teaching their children about personal responsibility and helping their fellow man. It enforces government as boss and overseer and takes away personal drive to do community service because eventually the populace says "well, the government didn't tell me to do it so it's not my YOB man."

This smacks of Borgish automatons being directed through the collective.

This smacks of one more removal of our freedoms, the further erosion of our liberties and an attempt to show whitey who is in charge now.

I played that race card cuzz it's worth double in the kitty, Speaking of double in the kitty how fast will BHO loosen regulations on the porn industry under the guise of these guys are too regulated. If we deregulate them they could put out more product, product that the average American public engages in regularly. (wait, I may like this rule)

And what pray tell (oooops, shouldn't have used the word "pray") will the penalty be for noncompliance? Do you get kicked out of school? Do your parents get billed for your refusal to be treated like a criminal or a slave? Do you lose obamas most coveted award, the NEIGHBORHOOD WARDEN OFFICER position whose job it is to oversee the crews and report back to mien Buhrer?

If this is how he is starting out, two days after the election, imagine what he will roll out next month.

Sig Heil Obama Fuhrer, all our childrenz are belong to you.....

So in the new spirit of the new America let's all sing this old classic song;

The following song is available at the Whiskey Bards website and is well worth the money.

Gather ’round, ye lads and lasses, set ye for a while
And hearken to me mournful tale about the Emerald Isle
Let’s all raise our glasses high to friends and family gone
And lift our voices in another Irish drinking song

Consumption took me mother and me father got the pox
Me brother drank the whiskey ’til he wound up in a box
My other brother in the Troubles met with his demise
My sister has forever closed her smiling Irish eyes

CHORUS:
Now everybody’s died
So until our tears are dried
We’ll drink and drink and drink and drink,
and then we’ll drink some more
We’ll dance and sing and fight
until the early morning light
Then we’ll throw up, pass out, wake up, and then go drinking once again

Kenny was killed in Kilkenny and Claire, she died in Clare
Tip from Tipperary died out in the Derry air
Shannon jumped into the River Shannon back in June
Ernie fell into the Erne, and Tom is in the Toome

“Cleanliness is godliness” me Uncle Pat would sing
He broke his neck a’slippin’ on a bar of Irish Spring
O’Grady, he was 80 though his bride was just a pup
He died upon the honeymoon when she got his Irish up

CHORUS

Joe Murphy fought with Reilly near the banks of old Doneen
He took out his shillelagh and he stabbed him in the spleen
Crazy Uncle Mike believed he was a leprechaun -
In fact he’s just a leper, and his arms and legs are gone

When Timmy Johnson broke his neck it was a cryin’ shame
He wasn’t really Irish, but he went to Notre Dame
McNamara crossed the street and by a bus was hit
But he was just a Scotsman, so nobody gave a (ARRGHH)

CHORUS

Me drunken Uncle Brendan tried to drive home from the bar
The road rose up to meet him when he fell out of his car
Irony was what befell my great-grand Uncle Sam
He choked upon the very last potato in the land

Conor lived in Ulster town, he used to smuggle arms
Until the British killed him and cut off his lucky charms
And dear old Father Flanagan, who left the lord’s employ
Drunk on sacramental wine, beneath the altar boy

CHORUS

(slower)

Someday soon I’ll leave this world of pain and toil and sin
The Lord will take me by the hand to join all of me kin
Me only wish is when the Savior comes for me and you

(a tempo)

He kills the cast of Riverdance, and Michael Flatley too

CHORUS (2x)

...it was a calm, peaceful dream. We were walking on a lake shore at sunset. You looked so serene, with a scarf wrapped about your face, flung over your shoulders with abandon...your nut brown tresses spilling from it.

As the darkness closed in we found ourselves alone. Hand in hand we strolled, walking while the moon rose and the crickets sang their mating tune. You hair shone in the moonlight, your eyes sparkled with merriment and peace...your skin luminous in the soft shine of Luna.

We sang of love and summer breezes;
Spoke of hopes and fears;
We talked all through the long soft night;
Sometimes through our tears.

As morning dawned the mist arose from the water. You faded away like the moonlight, a vapor I couldn't grasp and I found myself alone upon that cold mist enshrouded shore, holding nothing but your scarf.

...but while we are here we might as well dance.

sometimes things just don't go the way you think they will...

Sometimes you make bad choices...

We all choose our action...

We never get to choose the consequences from those actions...

And sometimes one just has to step back and let people suffer the consequences of their choices...

Sometimes choices are hard...

Sometimes those choices lead you to a place from which you can never return...

But everytime it balances out in the end and everyone gets exactly what they have earned...

Beware of everytime...

wonderful talk....it was so good to see you again.....your presence is a healing tonic.....your words wise and true....I am glad to know you share my pain....so this one is for you....you've made mistakes and so have I....we both know this is true....I found the courage of my heart....I pray you'll do so too....the winters snows will rage on high....while we share hope convictions....and know no great loves paths have crossed....without a little friction....may peace be yours while snowflakes fall....within your shattered heart....as friends I know we'll never be....too long once more apart.

80% anger
20% regret



You can tell everyone I'm a down disgrace,
Drag my name all over the place,
I don't care anymore,
You can tell everybody 'bout the state I'm in,
But you won't catch me crying cos I can't win
I don't care anymore, I don't care anymore.

I don't care what you say,
I don't play the same games you play.

Cos I've been talking to the people that you call your friends,
And it seems to me there's a means to an end,
They don't care anymore,
And as for me I can sit here and bide my time,
I got nothing to lose if I speak my mind,
I don't care anymore, no I don't care anymore.

I don't care what you say,
We never played by the same rules anyway,
I won't be there anymore,
Get out of my way
, let me by,
I got better things to do with my time.

I don't care anymore,
I don't care anymore,
I don't care anymore,
I don't care anymore.

Well I don't care now what you say,
Cos everyday,
I'm feeling fine with myself,
And I don't care now what you say, hey,
Hey I'll do alright by myself, cos I know.


Cos I remember all the times I tried so hard,
But you laughed in my face holding all the cards,
I don't care anymore,
Well I really ain't bothered what you think of me,
Cos all I want of you is just let me be, I don't care anymore,
Do you hear I don't care no more.

I don't care what you say,
I never did believe you much anyway,
I won't be there anymore,
So get out of my way, let me by,
I got better things to do with my time.

I don't care anymore,
Do you hear I don't care anymore,
I don't care no more,

I know somebody and they cry for you.
They lie awake at night and dream of you.
I bet you never even know they do, but somebody's crying.
I know somebody and they called your name.
A million times and still you never came.
They go on loving you just the same, I know that somebody's trying.

So please, return the love you took from me.
Or please, let me know if it can't be me, I know when,
Somebody's lying, I know when somebody's lying.
I know that somebody's lying, I know that somebody's lying.
Give me a sign and let me know we're through.
If you don't love me like I love you.
But if you cry at night the way I do I'll know that somebody's lying.
So please, return the love you took from me.
Or please, let me know if it can't be me.
I know when somebody's lying, I know when somebody's lying.

We might kiss when we are alone
When nobody's watching
We might take it home
We might make out when nobody's there
It's not that we're scared
It's just that it's delicate

So why'd you fill my sorrows
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've known
And why'd ya sing aleluia
If it means nothing to you
Why'd you sing with me at all?

We might live like never before
When there's nothing to give
Well how can we ask for more
We might make love in some sacred place
The look on your face is delicate

So why'd you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place that you've known
And why'd you sing aleluia
If it means nothing to you
Why'd you sing with me at all?

And why'd you fill my sorrows
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place that you've known
Why'd you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why'd you sing with me at all?

Kender is back, 100%, no BS...all is well.....thanks for everything.

You have your freedom

You have your freedom says Uncle Sam
to do as you are told
From where to drive to where to park
and how you can grow old
We regulate the food you eat
how you can live and die
And go to school and congregate,
the waters and the sky
We have the best in mind for you
we know what's good in life
The huddled masses have no clue
so let us end your strife
We'll hand out things like free health care,
education and job training
We'll even give out umber-ella's
for days that it is raining
We know the things we legislate
aren't in the constitution
But all our plans to keep you well
will soon come to fruition
When BHO is sitting in
the Not so White House Chair
He'll mandate things that take away
those pesky little layers
Of freedom that you still possess
to do things as you please
And we will own your unwashed ass
from birth to death you see
We hate to do it that's for sure
it's lot of work for us
To ride in limo's telling you
to just go ride the bus
But you must listen to our rules
our laws and edicts too
Our regulations and the drivel
which we always spew
We know what's best so just shut up
and go with our big plan
To give you everything you need
from our abundant land
The taxes that you pay today
will feed you on the morrow
You'll feel a great relief you see
and not one bit of sorrow
Freedom's over rated now
so do us all a favor
Quit complaining that we steal
the fruits of all your labor
If we don't take away the cash
you work so hard to get
How can we take care of all
the hordes of lazy shits
Who vote for us and sit around
Collecting welfare money
We think your stingy attitude
is not one damned bit funny
So vote for us at election time
we know just where it's at
We are freedoms worst nightmare
we are the democrats

Can you see yourself in these words?

A heart must heal in solitude

The falseness of carnal delights

Deny the hearts redemption

Manipulation of fear

Will deny truths

You must hear

A heart must heal in solitude

It must be left alone

To wither, melt

To know rebirth

To grow into its own

By Rush;

Fitting at the moment.

If we burn our wings
Flying too close to the sun
If the moment of glory
Is over before it's begun
If the dream is won
Though everything is lost
We will pay the price,
But we will not count the cost

When the dust has cleared
And victory denied
A summit too lofty
River a little too wide
If we keep our pride
Though paradise is lost
We will pay the price,
But we will not count the cost

And if the music stops
There's only the sound of the rain
All the hope and glory
All the sacrifice in vain
[And] if love remains
Though everything is lost
We will pay the price,
But we will not count the cost

Funny how perfection just falls into your lap....

People often ask me if the flurble in my girdle is natural. Those
that know me well know the flurble is actually a hand me down from my
neighbor that was a missionary to the heathen tribes in brooklyn, NY,
but that it is all natural....after all, who would want to wear an
artificial flurble in a girdle while hurdling? Everyone knows the
artificial ones bind on the downswing.

Use this option if you do not have an audio out port or can not
reach your audio out port. Plug the Power Microphone into the port
labeled "Audio"on the back of the transmitter and Velcro the other
end (round) in the center of the television speaker. Set the TV
volume to low or normal level so the Power Microphone can pick up
the sound leaving your television's speaker,process it through the
transmitter,and send it to the TV Ears headset.

Application Procedures: Interested applicants should submit a letter of application and resume. Applicants should be prepared to submit three letters of recommendation and a transcript upon request. Review of applications will begin on October 16, 2006 and continue until an appointment is made.

Nevertheless, aligning the seams is just the first step. If the bobbin shreds the cotton, you ought to check if the dryer has snarled the seam ripper. When the steam reaches the rotary cutter, you ought to fold it carefully, making certain the templates are in alignment. Now, tilt the iron and clean the lint out of the thread tension - but don't forget that the seam must be ruched carefully and completely if it is to be warped. *NEVER* press the patch to the spool, unless you have made sure that the scissors will match the raw ends together.

When the soup is glowing, cut it with the sawzall and then use a zig-zag pattern to attach the flower. This will activate the aurora, then the cockroach will vacuum up the skyscraper. Of course, if the table wants to speak off the cuff, I'm sure that the humuhumunukunukuapua'a will fornicate in Brazil. Felines, naturally, fart in unison, but that does not negate the idiosyncratic intention of the Hufflepuff. You need to hallucinate that the atmosphere is, in all its parts, partially clothed in ferns; but the conclusion is inevitably wrong, especially if the chorus of zebras drives to the movies.

Danke Schoen, Darling, Danke Schoen.
Thank you for all the joy and pain.
Picture shows, second balcony, was the place we'd meet,
Second seat, go Dutch treat, you were sweet.

Danke Schoen, Darling, Danke Schoen.
Save those lies, Darling don't explain.
I recall, Central Park in fall.
How you tore your dress, what a mess, I confess.
That's not all.

Danke Schoen, Darling, Danke Schoen.
Thank you for walks down Lover's Lane.
I can see, hearts carved on a tree.
Letters inter-twined, for all time, yours and mine, that was fine.

Danke Schoen, Darling, Danke Schoen.
Thank you for seeing me again.
Though we go on our seperate ways,
Still the memory stays, for always, my heart says, Danke Schoen.

Danke Schoen, Oh Darling, Danke Schoen.
I said, Thank you for seeing me again.
Though we go- on our separate ways,
Still the memory stays, for always, my heart says, Danke Schoen.

Danke Schoen, Auf Wiedersehn, Danke Schoen

fuggle bartnoaal creechekiitu ssays tyhe monster ni my head. His nbame is flaxnjojo buttermug the thrid......the worldis spiininhg like atop

ripples of guilt
Subdued by carnal exhaustion

We grew up way too fast
we blazed a trail and left a path marked for the past to follow
We ran full speed thru the fields
Thru the poppys and the then rose colored moments time revealed

Under the sun we felt the heat
under the microscope we'd see beneath the surface level lies
We'd toss and turn until we fell asleep
and I'm trying hard to wake up
to open up my eyes.

I've been over and over this how
can there be ten thousand things still left to figure out?
Deep into the darkness you retreated
All the time that we spend and the shit that we went
on and on and on about
left me feeling lonely and defeated.

I guess I was drawn to you
you carried me away
took me to another place and left me there
Do you remember what you said
all those promises that you forgot to keep

Tell me now about a new way out
tell me about all that your thinking
Talk to me, just talk to me
don't shut me out
Don't make this any harder than it has to be
Just walk away.

I've been over and over this how
can there be ten thousand things still left to figure out?
Deep into the darkness you retreated
All the time that we spend and the shit that we went
on and on and on about
left me feeling lonely and defeated.

But I'm not gonna let all the shit that we went
on about bring me down
I'm gonna rise up strong and never be defeated
I'm gonna rise up strong and never be defeated

By Brian Travis

My heart is free
Again
My heart is hard
Once more
I am worthy
Again
She is not
Anymore

I wanna dance, I wanna sing
I wanna write some real nasty things
I am free of her memory, my heart sails once more
I took her sweet love shoved it right out the door
Onward and upward to much better things
Cuz it's time to dance
Time to laugh
Time to sing

I dreamt of sunny afternoons
Spent wrapped within your arms
I dreamt of jet black winter nights
The focus of your charms
I dreamt of verdant springtime morns
With you beside me, love
I dreamt of loving smiles and hands
As gentle as a dove
I dreamt I was your sun, my love
My Luna you remain
I dreamt my heart had not been torn
My love was not a stain
I dreamt our love had carried on
We'd never grown apart
I dreamt it all tucked deep within
My sorry broken heart.

...without hating them?

Answer me that and you win gratitude....what do you do when your muse has flown?

How do you move on when you are incomplete, empty and have a cavernous hole in your soul?

People aren't like cars...you shouldn't be able to replace them so easily....

and how does love die?

the crew in my head is having a great debate.....and I sit and listen in and wonder why they all won't just go get jobs and shut up.

The future is just the past that hasn't happened yet....BT, thanks for the insight, the words and the friendship....time to burn down everything, start all over, make it right.

Searching for myself
In the depths of my mind
Where ghosts roam free
From auld lang syne
Whispers of the past
Clash
With future paths
Open, teasing
Promises heralded
Of ghosts unborn
Roads untraveled
Loves unmet
And yet
And yet
I am not to be found
Within my mind
No trace of me
In my heart I find
I am not lost
I am not found
It's to another heart
I'm bound
Let me free
Let me be
I must again
Discover me...

why must women be so two faced?

and why does betrayal hurt so much?

The song by Staind called Believe seem way too apropo for my life right now. Many thanks to my little brother Jon for turning me onto it.

Gotta go to Vegas Faire. Amblefolke will be there which means I will have improv artists worthy of playing with. I have several new and completely original gigs planned for this year. I think my favorite will either be Serenade Me (also called Concerto is Duh Minor) or Don't leave Me Dear. If you want to know what they are you'll just have to come to faire and catch them being performed.

Life's a funny thing. Just when you think you may have a hold of it it tosses you a curve ball that twists your eyeballs around and leaves you spinning in circles. Somehow no matter how hard I try I just don't get women. Someone once told me a certain girl was a control freak and she hated not being able to control people and situations in her life. I didn't see it until I knew her for a few years and finally had a chance to be around her. I don't understand that drive to control everything around you. Maybe if people worked on their life and left the world to others the world would be a better place.

Windows vista sux. The only thing it would be good for is sending to gitmo and forcing prisoners to try to boot up. Then again if the leftists complain about waterboarding they would really flip if we did that.

Sometimes I think Whiskey Lullaby is not as sad as the song seems. Maybe retreating into a bottle isn't so bad. The first line, "She put him out like the burning end of a midnight cigarette" is powerful. I know how that midnight cigarette feels.

Hope comes from within.

What happens when hope has fled? Where does it come from then? Is it like a flower and regrows with TLC and time? Or is it a finite resource and when it's gone it's gone? I know they say hope springs eternal, but I am thinking my spring ahs run dry.

I guess time will tell.

Repression leads to depression.

I may trademark that phrase, it's that good, but I think only myself and one other person would get what I mean by it. What would you mean by it?

Blinded by the Light by Manfred Manns Earth Band is perhaps the silliest song ever written. And one of the catchiest too.

Lost love sings bug me.....when you don't need 'em they are just noise and when you do it's spooky to have life reflections coming from a radio speaker.

If you spend one damned minute trying to understand what comes out of a womans mouth you spend another minute trying to recover from it so you lose two minutes of your life in useless pursuits. Your time is better spent picking your nose or cleaning your ears with someone else's keys. Conversations with females should be limited to what you want to eat, what time YOU will be ready to leave to be somewhere or how nekked you want them to be when you decide to come home.

Nuff siad for now...be back monday night.

Standing alone...
On a rooftop in the city...
Quiet and brooding
Life changes wash over me....
Like moonlight through the fog
Hazy and damp....
Love lost friends found
Soul burning down
Like an uncovered lamp...
The road in life is jarring
And it only leads to hell...
When the heart is broke and lonely
And you can hear death's lonely knell...
Arising like a phoenix
From the ashes of my life...
I await the dawn
With bated breath
To face again the strife...
I shall not be defeated
In victory I shall cry...
A lonely howl to heavens doors
I shall never die

The post from yesterday (taken down now) was scary I am sure. I was in a dark place. You guys are wonderful. I won't go into details but I will say this. I am better but I need your help. I need wheels and a home. Those of you who know the details will understand what's happening, where I have been and the situation. If you can help hit the paypal button in the sidebar. Prayers always appreciated. Thanks for your support.

So Howard Kurtz writes an article for the Wall Street Journal detailing Obama's lies regarding his association with far left un-convicted American terrorist William Ayers.

Despite having authored two autobiographies, Barack Obama has never written about his most important executive experience. From 1995 to 1999, he led an education foundation called the Chicago Annenberg Challenge (CAC), and remained on the board until 2001. The group poured more than $100 million into the hands of community organizers and radical education activists.

The goal of the group was not education but subversion. I have always held the intelligence of our electorate in suspicion. The average IQ of an American is 100, so it stands to reason half of our population is stupider than the average American. If the Obamessiah wins this election my theory will have been proven in spades.

Go read the article linked in the first line then go read the one written by Michael van der Galien, Editor-in-Chief of Poligazette.

They will open your eyes if you are a supporter of Obama and if it doesn't you will have proven yourself one of those folks with a below average IQ I wrote about earlier.

Imagine the shock when I saw this story about Toby Keith supporting Obama.

Keith, known to main stream Americans for his song "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue," has apparently smoked one too many doobs with Willy and drank a couple of gallons of Liberal Kool-Aid stating he's a democrat and is impressed by Senator Obama.

My shock goes to the bone. To have one of the most patriotic country stars step up and publicly admire the most socialist twit to ever run for the office of President is flabbergasting in the least. I am wondering how this will play in Nashville. I'd like to know why Toby has suddenly decided Freedom isn't worth fighting for and why it is my fellow citizens who toil away at their jobs should be forced to support those who refuse to do so. I'd really like to know, just for fairness sake, what makes him think he has any more standing to comment on national politics. I don't like it when the simpletons in Hollyweird make policy statements so I have to hold Mr. Keith to the same standards.

Either way I have lost respect for the man and must seriously consider if I will be purchasing his next musical endeavor.

I humbly suggest you folks consider doing the same.

Dear America.

I wasn't going to post today.

I was going to sit back and let others say what needs to be said today, to a nation who has forgotten.

They have forgotten the shock of that morning.

They have forgotten the sick feeling in the pit of their stomach as they saw people choose to fling themselves from a hundred stories up to slam into the ground below rather than face the hell like inferno any longer.

They have forgotten the despair that twisted their very souls as they saw those towers fall, wishing beyond all hope they were dreaming and knowing they weren't.

They have forgotten the fear as an anxious nation stood transfixed and life ground to a screeching halt and rumors flowed in about attacks elsewhere.

They have forgotten the feeling of "One Nation" which flowed after the attacks, when they lined up and gave blood, praying survivors to use it would be found.

They have forgotten the grief as a Nation cried when none were.

May God Bless those we lost.

May God Damn those who did it and all like them.

There is but One God.

He is NOT allah.

And by His name shall we attain Victory over our enemies and Peace once again.

Amen.

But it's still a gratuitous comment.

Big thanks to Rotber for this toon....

Dear Russell, I was distressed, to say the least, to hear you on the MTV music awards disparage President George Bush as a "retarded cowboy." Sure, the man has his faults. He never answers the criticism and outright lies thrown at him by the left, but that's probably because he still believes the vast majority of Americans are too smart to fall for them. Unfortunately that may no longer be true. Certainly whoever gave you the primo gig of hosting the MTV Awards show certainly seems to be lacking in intelligence. After all, who but an utter moron would give a half rate insane wannabe comic with a rats nest hairdo who lacks the common sense to show his host country a modicum of respect the high profile job of hosting one of the premier music awards show on the planet?

Add in insult to injury when you backed obama. Russell, let me ask you a question; When was the last time an American went over to Jolly Old England, Home of Cutting Edge Dentistry, and made a suggestion about whom they should vote for? On second thought maybe one of us should go over and do just that, as without our input a large number of your fellow countrymen have managed to elect the biggest bunch of simpletons this planet has ever seen run a country into the ground. I must say if you brits are vying for Fastest Decline of a Country Award you are doing a bang up job. I understand sharia law is going to be enacted any day now.

After catching some of your "act" online I have to say funny really isn't your thing, so maybe a little leeway is in order for your comments and utter lack of class. By the way, they have this really nifty invention called a "comb." Maybe you should look into it. Having a hairstyle like Witch Hazel does have its advantages. It lends itself well to the image that you are simply some better dressed insane homeless guy ranting on the street corner, so maybe you should keep it.

Anyway, your hair has put me in the mood for some good old fashioned comedy which reaches heights of hilarity you could only reach in an alternate universe in which you were the sole inhabitant. Have a great life Russell old boy, and tell those caterpillars living on your forehead to hang in there, someday they'll spread their wings and fly, unlike their host.

Enjoy the video.

After the rousing (for this site) success of Sarah Palin Nude, Naked, Topless Bikini Pics (I've had ten times more traffic since I posted it, so yeah, ten people actually clicked through today) I had an epiphany when Ticklebug left a comment about Obama in a speedo.

So I figured a post with that title, as a control, was in order. Now we can see how many hits "obama in a speedo" garners vs. "Sarah Palin Nude."

I'll give it a couple of days and let ya know in an update.