Kenders' Musings

In honor of the Liberation of Iraq, and to pay homage to those that have died, Mattel announced today that a new line of action figures will be released by spring.

First to be released will be the repackaged "French Revolution doll renamed "Kidnapped ING Al Ken Awabi". He will come with a grainy video of him pleading for his life and has his hands bound permanantly behind his back. He can be beheaded repeatedly, just like every other action figure made in the 70's. (Insurgent Scum sold separately)

Second to be released is actually an old design from the Clinton era. Named the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell GI Joe", he is equipped with full battle gear and tight jeans and a tank top for those "nights on the town". Included in this set is his "friend" Ramon. They come packed together. Use the enclosed decals to transform the box into an apartment for Joe and Ramon to share. (Fag Hag Barbie not included)

Third, is the new "Insurgent Scum" action figure. It comes in two versions. Religious Zealot, which does not explode, and Brainwashed Recruit, which does. Both come with black hoods, weapons stolen from GI Joe and pocket sized Koran. Brainwashed Recruit also comes with a Plastic Key To Heaven and an IOU good for 70 virgins.