Kenders' Musings

We're back!!!

We have those technical difficulties out of the way amd once again welcome back to the Blog-In for Terri Schiavo.
If you are just joining us I am your host, Pissy redneK and here joining me now in the studio is a man that is actually a neighbor of mine out in Boondock Hollow, Cooter Cleary. Cooter has formed a group called Some Folks Jes' Need Killin' or SFJNK fo short.

Pr: Cooter, can you tell us first, how do we pronounce the name of your group?

Cooter: Weeeell, I was hopin ya' wouldn ask me dat, cuz I was callin' it sofjunk, but ma wife made a joke bout it an da boys laffed so now ma wife iz stayin' wid here sis joleen mac.

Pr: Well, Sofjunk sounds ok, we wil try not to make any jokes about it here ok?

Cooter: Dats good dat ya don cuz I got me a belly full o' dat talk las' nite, an I's bout ready to smack someone

Pr: Oooookay then. Now Cooter, can you tell us how this group came about? I mean what caused you to create this group and what are its' goals?

Cooter: Well, da boys an I wuz sittin round talkin bout da mess da country is in and decided dat our granpappies wuz rite. dat sum folks jus need killin. so we's decided to form dis groop to kill dem folks dat need killin'.

Pr: Hhhmmm.....ok, you do know that this is against the law right? I mean deciding who needs killing?

Cooter: Well, sez who? Down at home it aint. In boondock holler if'n someone needs killin we jus' kill 'em an be dun wid it. See? its like dis. If'n ya got a sow that births sum bad piglets, say crippled up or what not, why ya just kill 'em rite off and....

Pr: HEY!!! Wait a second here Cooter, are you saying that your group wants to kill babies that have something wrong with them? Is that what I am hearing you say?

Cooter: HELL NO!! Is you stupid or sumpin? Ya don't go killin babies ya damned fool. Where in da hell did you get dat ideer?

Pr: Well, you just said that when a sow has....

Cooter: Hold on a dangumtsecon here. Are you comparing babies to piglets??? Sumpin aint rite wit yoo boy.

Pr: No, I am not comparing babies to piglets.

Cooter: Good, cuz you were soundin lik sum o dem dumbasses over in yurp where they kill dem babies that aint all there.

Pr: No, I think we hit a communications problem. So you aren't going to kill babies. What criteria does someone have to meet to need killing?

Cooter: Well, da boys an I aint ritely figgered dat out yet. see? I was saying lets kill stupid folks, cuz mos o dem aint worth much noways nohow, but then Gentry said that we woul have to kill mos o his kinfolk, and seeins how that would be true we decided dat killin stupid folks may not be such a good ideer. We's been considerin takin nomeenashuns for folks dat need killin' but so far we aint got none.

Pr: And if you did get a nomination how would you decide if that person needed killing?

Cooter: Well, I imagine we wood jus' go meet da feller and if'n we didn like him none dat may be good nuff fer us. Let dat be a warning to ya folks out der...if'n ya see me n da boys comin ya bettr be reeeeeeeeeaaaalll nice ya hear?

Pr: Ok...Cooter if you did find someone that needed killing, how would you kill that person? Would you shoot them or hang them? The readers want to know exactly how you would do that.

Cooter: Now dat part we got figgered out already. Since folks that need killin are ushalee real bad folks we figgered we needed sompin really mean and drawn out, cuz if'n yer a meen person den ya shoul die real slow right?

Pr: I guess. Go on

Cooter: well, after discussin it wid da boys we decided on making them lissin to jon tesh records while watching a tape o that hillary bitch from up noo york way do one o dem strip dances like dey do in da city..we figger fer a few dollars an a gallon o jakes medicine some smart 'puter feller from da big city coul make us a tape lik dat. I mean if'n dey can fake a picture of britney speers naked, and lemme tell ya I was dubl dawg mad bout that but I kep it anyhows, den dey coul make us one of dat hillary struttin round nekked. Only I was thinkin o puttin in skeeters grammas body 'stead, cuz fer five dollars she'll dance nekked for ya any time anywhere. And fer a 96 year ol' woman she can still move pretty good...but boy they need to take an iron to her sumpin fierce.

Pr: You guys are cruel.