Obama Math

I have been watching, like many of you, this years election cycle which is puttering along like an old Suzuki missing a cylinder. One thing that has constantly amazed me is the main stream medias ability to give Obama a pass on so many things that fly out of his mouth. If Mccain said half the goofy malapropism's that spill from Obama's mouth the MSM would have to gear up 20 new newspapers, 6 new television stations and who knows how many radio stations just to keep up with it all.

On the other hand Obama is the gift that keeps on giving, with unbelievable gaffs flying at the speed of sound and the frequency of Rosie O'Donnell eating donuts. It is really almost too much to ask for in a just world. Alas, a just world is not what we live in (actually in a just world Obama wouldn't even be running) so Obama just keeps tossing out choice morsels of stupidity for us to chew on. If stupid slips of the tongue were food we'd be even fatter as a nation by November, in fact, and Obama could single handedly wipe out hunger.

Then I got to thinking.

What if it isn't mis-spoken words on Obama's part, but simply the way he actually counts?

Not too long ago, in a speech, late at night when he was tired, to be fair, Obama mentioned having been to 57 of the states during his campaign. The Obamabots came out with a hundred different excuses trying to spin their messiah's mistake and draw attention away from teh fact that there are 57 ISLAMIC states but to little avail. Many people think Obama is a muslim. Most of the muslim world thinks he is a muslim. Now I am not going to get into a discussion about whether Obama is a muslim or not but suffice it to say that if the muslim world thinks he is a muslim that's gonna be good enough for me. After all, taqqiyah, the edict in the Koran that says lying in the furtherance of Islam is acceptable would allow Obama to pretend to be a muslim if at the end of the day it helped bring about a worldwide caliphate.

Now Obama has stated that he plans to be dealing with the leaders of other countries for the next 8-10 years. Never mind the cajones to start dealing in foreign policy before he is even the official nominee for his party. Warner Todd Huston covered that angle very well in another article. Forget the fact that the 22nd amendment limits Presidents to no more than two four year terms. Warner Todd Huston covered that angle perfectly also.

What we should worry about here is Obama's singularly horrid grasp of math. If this is the kind of math they are teaching in Harvard these days then hell, sign me up. It looks like I could actually ace a math class like that.

What really worries me is this is the man that would be dealing with approving the countries budgets. I am terrified as to what kind of budget he'd accept.

We have 50 states, he thinks there are 60.

Presidents get no more than 8 years in office, he's shooting for 10.

Obviously reality is one number and Obama see a bigger number.

Make a hundred grand a year? Obama hears three hundred grand. Someone says he needs 30 million for a new program Obama heard 50 million. I don't even want to think of how this plays out with new taxes. What about the promised military cuts Obama has talked about? Someone says cut ten percent of the standing forces and Obama cuts 20%.

Face it folks, the man simply cannot count which means election day is going to be something else. The news channels will report that Obama has won X number of states and he'll hear a larger number of course and immediately issue some kind of press release about how he is so close to taking enough states out of the 57 we have to win the whole shooting match.

Now couple this mathematical genius with an apparent and complete lack of awareness of the passage of time and we can see some serious problems coming down the pike.

I have been trying to deduce the mathematical formulae that must be floating around in Obama's head, where 50 equals 60 and 8 equals 10 but without a few more examples I probably wont be able to do it. Heaven forbid those examples come through new taxes and exploding budgets.

I do, however, have a theory. If 50=60 and 8=10 then we may have a clue as to who would get royally shafted under an Obama Presidency. Fifty to sixty is a 20% jump. Eight to ten is 25%. So the smaller the number the larger the increase. So the less money you make the more you will pay in taxes.

Makes sense to me. Obama is, after all, just a fat cat. Fat cats tend to watch out for their own. It appears that Obama adds in a larger percentage with lower numbers. So maybe if you make a hundred grand a year you won't pay as much as someone that makes 50 grand a year.

Of course there is always the other possibility. Obama's 57 states gaff came out around May 12th. His 10 year Presidential plan hit the wires on July 20th. A difference of about of almost nine weeks. We have about 15 weeks left until the election. In nine weeks Obama's math went from a 20% mistake to a 25% mistake. A 25% increase in and of itself. I think we can expect another 25% increase in Obama's stupidity for sure within the next nine weeks, taking the current 25% to just over 31%. In those last 6 weeks expect another jump of about 16%, pushing Obama's stupidity factor up to just under 36%.

By then we should have, by Obama Math, 68 states and Obama can expect to serve out his full ten years.

Immigration Haikus

I stumbled upon this site today that featured a haiku called "The Gatekeeper Haiku." In honor of this haiku (and because I believe in countering the slanted BS from the left) I present you with;

Kender's Immigration Haiku's

Running through canyons
La Migra gringos close in
I must dump the drugs

Two dollars a day
I have too many kids to feed
I will go wash cars

Landscape America
Scrub the white man's bathroom down
Send my money home

No speeka eengleesh
Unless you need my labor
Ten bucks an hour

I am poor worker
My six kids need doctors care
Hospital is closed?

Enforcing your laws
Is hateful and mean to me
I just want to work

I ran down your kid
While drunk as Kennedy man
Home to Mexico

Gringos have no sense
Give me all I need to live
White guilt is the best

A walled up border
Is no match for mexicans
Who just want to work

You stole all our land
We will take it back from you
Guadalupe what?

No wetback am I
I crawled under chain link fence
I am a scratchback

Feel free to leave your own in the comments.

Making Fun of Obama

OK, so some comedy writer said there isn't anything funny to write about Obama. Not true.

Aside from the fact that he has ears darn near large enough for him to catch a good breeze (OH COME ON!!!!!! Like you never noticed those huge meat flaps hanging on the side of his head) there is what appears to be how seriously he takes himself. John McCain on the Conan show the other night pretended to fall asleep while Conan was asking him about his age. He obviously has a sense of humor but aside from an occasional mean jab at Hillary Obama appears to not have much of one.

I personally think the pretentiousness shown in his speech where he said something along the lines of this is the moment when the oceans stopped rising is ripe for fisking.

COME ON....if THAT isn't comedy material nothing is...such megalomaniacal presumptuousness can not possibly be left alone, but leave it alone everyone seems to have done...so far.

Can you imagine what kind of a mental breakdown this man is setting himself up for if he loses? He is believing the hype about his messiah-ness. Hell, he plays on it by advising his backers to tell people "how they came to Obama"....not about the issues and HOW he planes to do all these wonderful, pie-in-the-sky things he claims to want to do, but just "how they came to the messiah." If he loses he'll sit and wonder what went wrong. How could HE, the Savior of Mankind possibly have failed in His quest to become President?

Of course if he wins and takes that attitude to the White House I can see some very interesting State of the Union speeches.

Maybe when writing of Obama we should start capitalizing the word "he" and "him" so as not to offend the omnipotent candidate.

Then again maybe they are right. Maybe there is some truth to this whole messiah thing. Obama certainly seems to be immune from serious mainstream journalists looking too deeply into his life and being critical about his serious lack of experience. Maybe He really is some sort of messiah sent to save us from ourselves and I shouldn't even hit the publish button. After all, is He is the retribution I may face could be serious. Who knows what an omnipotent Obama would do to someone who made fun of those big ass ears he's totin'.

I have spoken to several Obama supporters and not oen of them could tell me one thing he would change or how he would do it. They speak in abstracts about Obama "healing the rift" and "bringing people together." I tell them that Obama won't bring anyone together because those that stand against him are against him for damned good reasons, chief among them being he's a friggin socialist and will run this country further into the ground.

They never have an answer for that, but if he wins the election and we are proven correct about him I am sure they'll find a way to blame it all on Bush, shrug it off and continue on worshiping the Great Black Eared God.

You Might Be A Taliban If....

Received in email, too funny...had to post. Top 12 signs you might be taliban.

12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.

10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at
least one.

9. You've ever uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've done with your cave.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than
setting off roadside bombs.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in
your clothing.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon
'unclean.'

3. You have more wives than teeth.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

And the number one sign you might be taliban?

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

Barack Claims Law Enforcement is Terrorism, Vigilantism

Would someone out there, anyone with a shred of sense that is, please tell me why there is anyone at all who is considered smarter than a bivalve still willing to vote for Barack Hussein Obama?

I can understand going along with the thought that we need more social programs as we now have at least two generations thoroughly indoctrinated in the belief of government as caretaker.

I can understand going along with the mistaken promise to let the Bush tax cuts expire under the falsehood of "it's taxes on the rich."

I can even understand the misplaced white guilt vote coming from millions of brainwashed dullards that think we have a racism problem in this country.

But going along with a man who claims the law enforcement of the very country he is trying to become President of are terrorists for doing the job they were hired to do, are sworn to do in fact is simply beyond belief.

There are only two possible conclusions to the fact that this man still has supporters.

One is that his followers truly do believe that law enforcement are terrorists, in which case I defy them to refrain from calling 911 the next time they find themselves in dire straights.

The second, and much more plausible answer by my thinking is that his followers really are idiots.

Utter morons.

Creatures of such stupendously low intelligence that breathing must be a full time job for them.

There are simply no other choices. They either really hate this country or they are complete and utter....well, face it, there is no level of intelligence yet defined in the english language to define how blindingly stupid these people must be.

So to all you Obamaniacs out there, please explain to me if you really hate this country so much that you want it to open it's borders and become the third world cesspool so many are fleeing from or are you just that fucking stupid?

One Million Names?

The ACLU has claimed that the Terrorist Watch List has reached one million names. Aside from such blatant out and out lying which we have come to expect from the American Communists Lawyers Union, and fear mongering, which we also expect, is the fact that mathematically so few Americans are on this list as to make this almost a non-issue.

As one can see from the graphic here (click this) the actual number of people on the list is 60% less than the ACLU claim. What SHOULD be shouted from the rooftops is the following bit from this report;

Between the TSC’s inception in December 2003 and May 2007, the TSC
documented more than 99,000 encounters for which its call center was contacted. TSC data shows that 53.4 percent of these calls were determined to be a positive match to a terrorist watchlist identity in the TSDB. In
cases, the TSC contacted the FBI, which is responsible for initiating any necessary law enforcement action. In 43.4 percent of these calls, it
determined that the encountered individual did not match the watchlisted identity, and the TSC Call Center staff instructed the frontline screening agent of this resolution. In the remaining 3.2 percent of the encounters,
TSC Call Center staff could not definitively determine if the match was positive or negative and therefore forwarded these calls to the FBI.

In other words, OVER HALF of the calls from watch list hits were matches. Three point two percent could not be determined whether it was a terrorist or not. Two million people fly in the U.S. a day. Three percent of two million people is SIXTY THOUSAND PEOPLE. How many terrorist attacks have been thwarted because of this list?

Given the time frame of the calls that is over 3.1 billion travelers over the time frame at 2 million travelers a day. Three percent of 3 billion. what is that? like NINETY MILLION PEOPLE?

Of course the actual number of people held up by this list is much lower than sixty thousand a day, as most folks that travel in the U.S are American citizens and the actual number of Americans on this list is much lower than 400 thousand., so much lower in fact that given that 95% of the people on it aren't even Americans and we get a number of about 20 thousand people on it.

Twenty thousand people on the list out of three hundred million? By my math that is well under one one hundredth of a percent to end up on this list. Seems to me to be a very small price to pay for safety in air travel. Seems to me that such a small number of AMERICAN citizens on a list that the AMERICAN Civil liberties Union is lying about wouldn't really be a cause for concern for most right thinking people, but we aren't speaking of right thinking people here, we're discussing the ACLU and their lies.

The only other thing that bothers me is the fact that the AMERICAN civil liberties union is so concerned with the civil liberties of people that aren't American citizens, aren't covered by our laws and don't have a damned bit of standing in our legal system.

But then, the ACLU has a long standing history of aiding and abetting our enemies both foreign and domestic and we certainly don't expect them to start acting like American Patriots now.

I Demand....

I demand the government make certain I have a roof over my head every day of my life, even if I have done nothing personally to earn it.

I demand the government make certain I always have food to eat, even if I have sat on my ass and done nothing for it.

I demand the government make certain I can always see a doctor when I feel the need even if I have not worked one day in my life.

I demand the government make certain I can get around town on public transportation so I do not have to walk in the heat or rain.

I demand the government pay for any and all education I care to pursue even if I do nothing with it.

I demand the government clothe me so I am protected from the elements as I go about my daily business of discussing philosophy with other slackers at the local coffee house.

I demand I be left alone to pursue the life of my choice, whether it's laying around discussing philosophy or taking yet another class on underwater basket weaving techniques of the Eastern Fugawi Tribe.

I demand the government take care of me, and everyone else, from cradle to grave, no matter what we may or may not do with our lives. The government has a job to do....taking care of us....they have no right to demand that we are productive citizens or that we contribute to our upkeep.

It is their job.

It is our job to accept such largess.

I am today's youth.

I have spoken.

Are you listening?

Racism Found in Food Choices

Let me start this out by saying by these guidelines I am a racist. I must be. I dislike a foreign food. More about that in a moment.

Now there's the news out of Britain's National Children's Bureau that children having a dislike of foreign foods may be exhibiting signs of racism.

Stating that children that say "yuk" when introduced to new and foreign foods may be showing signs of racism to come "play leaders" and nursery instructors have been instructed to watch for these oh so disturbing incidents so that presumably the children can be enrolled in the governments re-indoctrination and potty training school.

Well this makes perfect sense, since no child I have ever seen would turn his nose up at a new food unless someone in a position of authority was off to the side whispering in their ears about THAT food coming from those ugly foreigners that hate our way of life and just want to take over. I know my own son never once turned his head up at any new food. I myself only hate hog jowls and chitlins because my very insensitive mother told me where they came from (black folks kitchens) and not because they are parts of an animal I would rather not eat.

That's the same reason I won't try menudo. Not because it's made from the lining of cows intestines but because my mom hated mexican people so much that she instilled in me a hatred of some mexican foods. Why she didn't instill a hatred of burritos is beyond me, as burritos have done more to cause me problems in my life than menudo ever could have. I promise I have contributed more to global warming because of burritos than I have from driving.

Conversely I wonder if children in other countries that don't like "American" cooking would be considered racists? Probably not. Thy would just be proud of their own heritage and I would be an imperialist for pushing American food on them.

What next I wonder? Maybe we can call out racism for people that don't want to, oh I don't know, celebrate religions that aren't their own?

Would a muslim child be a racist for refusing a BLT? Of course not, because we must be sensitive to others religious beliefs. Conversely by these rules I should not be pissed off at muslims sawing the heads off of people because it is their religious belief that led them to do it so I must be sensitive to that fact.

Maybe I will start a religion that says we must urinate on the feet of the non believers. They would HAVE to let me pee on their feet, as doing otherwise would be insensitive.

Where, really, will this insanity end? I now fully expect to be called a racist, again, for saying I don't like menudo, the food or the band, but that's the cost of living in a free society. People are free to like and dislike whomever or whatever they please.

Too bad Britain's freedom is long gone.

Let's all bow to Londonistan and demand that people not ever dislike some food ever unless it was created by Britain or the U.S. then you can hate it all you want.

There's A Fight A-Brewing Toby, an' It's Lookin' Mighty Bad

Mean International, an anti carbon credits website has been sued in Oneida Circuit Court by Green International, a company devoted to making the entire planet pay for the snake oil of the 21st century, Carbon Offsets.

Neither group could be reached for a comment at this time. More as it develops.

No, No...It's A Safety Issue and We'll Only Use Them For Red Lights, We Swear

Red light cameras have become common place and now that they are the government is looking to expand on them. Tailpipe emissions cameras and parking space cameras are already deployed. Vans equipped with cameras roll down our highways unmarked and catch speeders. Now from a German company comes the latest camera innovation sure to send you tickets in the mail and pushing us ever closer to a society monitored 24/7 on screen by a low paid clerk.

Tire tread cameras.

I expect once we fall in line and accept this encroachment by automated tickets the government can come up with the ways to tax us by fining us for all kinds of other things.

May I propose a "Fart Gas Camera that detects when you pass gas and increase global warming?

How about respirator monitors to tax you for each breath?

Extra taxes for each pound of weight you are over according to government charts? I mean, if you are over weight you obviously ate more than your fair share of food so you should pay for being fat and lazy too, right?

Seriously, when is government intrusion into our lives gonna end?

Chucky Schumer (Dumbass-NY) Screws the Pooch

Chucky Schumer, (Dumbass-NY) screwed the pooch, the investors of Indymac Bank, half its employees and me personally by sending banking regulators a letter expressing concerns about its viability which led directly to the bank being taken over by government regulators.

In comments released to the media, the OTC said a June 26 letter by New York Sen. Charles Schumer expressing concern about the bank's viability was the 'immediate cause' of the thrift's closure.

First off I would be very interested in knowing if Chucky or any of his family or associates made any money in the failure of Indymac. Secondly this points out the caution our elected officials must take when speaking in an official capacity. Schumer's words directly caused Indymac to lose any possibility of regaining a solid footing by scaring depositors into withdrawing 1.3 billion dollars in a very short time, thereby causing Indymac to lose the liquidity that was keeping their nose above water.

Maybe Senator Dumbass should keep his large new york sized pie hole shut and not go around freaking out the country with self fulfilling prophecies about banks collapsing. Then again, this is just the kind of crap the dems will point to in an attempt to bolster their support of Barack "I can save you from all ills if you just believe" Obama. The really sad part of this is the BHO supporters are naive enough to not once look into this situation and realize it was caused by one of their own shooting his maw off and sticking his nose where it really didn't need to be.

This is exactly the kind of idiocy we can expect from the dems. Now the only question is which financial institution will they cause to fail next?

Be Careful What You Ask For

The old adage that warns "Be Careful What You Ask For...You Just Might Get It" is playing itself out in many cities around the country as fuel prices rise and people flock to public transportation that is proving itself unable to handle the amount of customers suddenly flooding the transit lines.

A not so funny side effect of the skyrocketing demand for buses and trains, outside of the fact that people are finding themselves standing on the roadside as buses too full to pick them up go zooming past, is the fact that increased public transportation ridership will actually lower tax revenue as people buy less fuel. Less fuel purchased means less fuel taxes paid. Less taxes paid means less money to dump into the historically money losing public transportation business.

Are you seeing a circular problem here?

But don't worry, the folks in charge are on the problem already, with Florida, North Carolina, West Virginia, Kentucky and Maine raising fuel taxes this year already, so those of us that have not yet adopted the socialist Utopian vision of bus rider heaven will be paying more at the pump to subsidize your overcrowded and dilapidated ride home this evening.

The one thing that is really going to hit home is the fact that transit systems have to buy fuel also and will be buying more of it as ridership increases (it costs more in fuel to haul more people) which means fares will rise, maybe not to the point of driving people back into their cars (pardon the pun) but rise they will.

So here's what we have. High gas prices are driving people to use publicly subsidized transportation that gets part of its funding from fuel taxes. As a result there are less fuel taxes to spend on public transportation, and public transportation is having to spend more money on the high priced gas that caused its ridership to increase in the first place. The end game being fares will increase to help defray the cost of increased fuel consumption by the transportation companies and the loss of fuel tax revenue, forcing poor people to either get a bike or walk to work.

Then the bus and trains will be the domain of the people that pay for them, the taxpayer, and not the homeless guy that's on there smelling up the place and snoring in the corner. On the other hand, having all those poor folks riding bikes and walking everywhere will make them much healthier and they'll live longer which will cost us more in the long run. I mean, really, how many old waitresses do we need anyway? If this is allowed to continue we'll have a world full of fit, bicycle riding Flo's from Mel's Diner running around telling us to kiss her grits.

I don't know if I could handle a world like that.

It seems too much like my family reunion.

The Energy Solution

with a tip o' me tam to me pal Bushwhack for this outstanding idea to solve our energy and illegal alien problems, I give you you The Energy Solution;

My mailbox is being flooded with mail concerning gas prices and illegal immigrants. To boycott oil companies or not; to provide amnesty to illegal immigrants or not, etc.

Since I have become jaded to the various solutions proposed by the Republicans, Democrats, Sierra Club, ACLU, etc., I have elected to solve the problems as they affect me. It solves both my gas and illegal immigrant problems.
I have hired illegal immigrants to push my car. They're plentiful and cheaper than buying gas. Then I pay them in pesos so they have to go home to spend it