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    Warning Will Robinson!

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    The Wide Awakes

    The EPA announced today that the La Brea Tar Pits, a museum and series of open tar pits in Los Angeles, is, in reality the remnants of massive oil drilling operations in dire need of being cleaned-up.

    To that end the federal government has declared the La Brea Tar Pits as a Superfund site, making it eligible for funds from the government to defray the costs of decontamination.

    The City of Los Angeles stands accused of using "Hollywood shenanigans" to disguise the toxic waste site as a museum and "educational center," states an unindentified spokesman for the EPA. It is also rumored that the people whose idea it was to disguise the site as a museum are also those responsible for staging the moon landing in 1969. Conspiracy theorists believe that American astronauts never actually made it to the moon and that the entire landing was faked on a sound stage in Hollywood.

    The La Brea Tar Pits are purported to be a natural phenomenon and the home to millions of fossilized plants and animals from the prehistoric days of the Los Angeles area.
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