Kenders' Musings

80% anger
20% regret



You can tell everyone I'm a down disgrace,
Drag my name all over the place,
I don't care anymore,
You can tell everybody 'bout the state I'm in,
But you won't catch me crying cos I can't win
I don't care anymore, I don't care anymore.

I don't care what you say,
I don't play the same games you play.

Cos I've been talking to the people that you call your friends,
And it seems to me there's a means to an end,
They don't care anymore,
And as for me I can sit here and bide my time,
I got nothing to lose if I speak my mind,
I don't care anymore, no I don't care anymore.

I don't care what you say,
We never played by the same rules anyway,
I won't be there anymore,
Get out of my way
, let me by,
I got better things to do with my time.

I don't care anymore,
I don't care anymore,
I don't care anymore,
I don't care anymore.

Well I don't care now what you say,
Cos everyday,
I'm feeling fine with myself,
And I don't care now what you say, hey,
Hey I'll do alright by myself, cos I know.


Cos I remember all the times I tried so hard,
But you laughed in my face holding all the cards,
I don't care anymore,
Well I really ain't bothered what you think of me,
Cos all I want of you is just let me be, I don't care anymore,
Do you hear I don't care no more.

I don't care what you say,
I never did believe you much anyway,
I won't be there anymore,
So get out of my way, let me by,
I got better things to do with my time.

I don't care anymore,
Do you hear I don't care anymore,
I don't care no more,

I know somebody and they cry for you.
They lie awake at night and dream of you.
I bet you never even know they do, but somebody's crying.
I know somebody and they called your name.
A million times and still you never came.
They go on loving you just the same, I know that somebody's trying.

So please, return the love you took from me.
Or please, let me know if it can't be me, I know when,
Somebody's lying, I know when somebody's lying.
I know that somebody's lying, I know that somebody's lying.
Give me a sign and let me know we're through.
If you don't love me like I love you.
But if you cry at night the way I do I'll know that somebody's lying.
So please, return the love you took from me.
Or please, let me know if it can't be me.
I know when somebody's lying, I know when somebody's lying.

We might kiss when we are alone
When nobody's watching
We might take it home
We might make out when nobody's there
It's not that we're scared
It's just that it's delicate

So why'd you fill my sorrows
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've known
And why'd ya sing aleluia
If it means nothing to you
Why'd you sing with me at all?

We might live like never before
When there's nothing to give
Well how can we ask for more
We might make love in some sacred place
The look on your face is delicate

So why'd you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place that you've known
And why'd you sing aleluia
If it means nothing to you
Why'd you sing with me at all?

And why'd you fill my sorrows
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place that you've known
Why'd you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why'd you sing with me at all?

Kender is back, 100%, no BS...all is well.....thanks for everything.

You have your freedom

You have your freedom says Uncle Sam
to do as you are told
From where to drive to where to park
and how you can grow old
We regulate the food you eat
how you can live and die
And go to school and congregate,
the waters and the sky
We have the best in mind for you
we know what's good in life
The huddled masses have no clue
so let us end your strife
We'll hand out things like free health care,
education and job training
We'll even give out umber-ella's
for days that it is raining
We know the things we legislate
aren't in the constitution
But all our plans to keep you well
will soon come to fruition
When BHO is sitting in
the Not so White House Chair
He'll mandate things that take away
those pesky little layers
Of freedom that you still possess
to do things as you please
And we will own your unwashed ass
from birth to death you see
We hate to do it that's for sure
it's lot of work for us
To ride in limo's telling you
to just go ride the bus
But you must listen to our rules
our laws and edicts too
Our regulations and the drivel
which we always spew
We know what's best so just shut up
and go with our big plan
To give you everything you need
from our abundant land
The taxes that you pay today
will feed you on the morrow
You'll feel a great relief you see
and not one bit of sorrow
Freedom's over rated now
so do us all a favor
Quit complaining that we steal
the fruits of all your labor
If we don't take away the cash
you work so hard to get
How can we take care of all
the hordes of lazy shits
Who vote for us and sit around
Collecting welfare money
We think your stingy attitude
is not one damned bit funny
So vote for us at election time
we know just where it's at
We are freedoms worst nightmare
we are the democrats

Can you see yourself in these words?

A heart must heal in solitude

The falseness of carnal delights

Deny the hearts redemption

Manipulation of fear

Will deny truths

You must hear

A heart must heal in solitude

It must be left alone

To wither, melt

To know rebirth

To grow into its own

By Rush;

Fitting at the moment.

If we burn our wings
Flying too close to the sun
If the moment of glory
Is over before it's begun
If the dream is won
Though everything is lost
We will pay the price,
But we will not count the cost

When the dust has cleared
And victory denied
A summit too lofty
River a little too wide
If we keep our pride
Though paradise is lost
We will pay the price,
But we will not count the cost

And if the music stops
There's only the sound of the rain
All the hope and glory
All the sacrifice in vain
[And] if love remains
Though everything is lost
We will pay the price,
But we will not count the cost

Funny how perfection just falls into your lap....

People often ask me if the flurble in my girdle is natural. Those
that know me well know the flurble is actually a hand me down from my
neighbor that was a missionary to the heathen tribes in brooklyn, NY,
but that it is all natural....after all, who would want to wear an
artificial flurble in a girdle while hurdling? Everyone knows the
artificial ones bind on the downswing.

Use this option if you do not have an audio out port or can not
reach your audio out port. Plug the Power Microphone into the port
labeled "Audio"on the back of the transmitter and Velcro the other
end (round) in the center of the television speaker. Set the TV
volume to low or normal level so the Power Microphone can pick up
the sound leaving your television's speaker,process it through the
transmitter,and send it to the TV Ears headset.

Application Procedures: Interested applicants should submit a letter of application and resume. Applicants should be prepared to submit three letters of recommendation and a transcript upon request. Review of applications will begin on October 16, 2006 and continue until an appointment is made.

Nevertheless, aligning the seams is just the first step. If the bobbin shreds the cotton, you ought to check if the dryer has snarled the seam ripper. When the steam reaches the rotary cutter, you ought to fold it carefully, making certain the templates are in alignment. Now, tilt the iron and clean the lint out of the thread tension - but don't forget that the seam must be ruched carefully and completely if it is to be warped. *NEVER* press the patch to the spool, unless you have made sure that the scissors will match the raw ends together.

When the soup is glowing, cut it with the sawzall and then use a zig-zag pattern to attach the flower. This will activate the aurora, then the cockroach will vacuum up the skyscraper. Of course, if the table wants to speak off the cuff, I'm sure that the humuhumunukunukuapua'a will fornicate in Brazil. Felines, naturally, fart in unison, but that does not negate the idiosyncratic intention of the Hufflepuff. You need to hallucinate that the atmosphere is, in all its parts, partially clothed in ferns; but the conclusion is inevitably wrong, especially if the chorus of zebras drives to the movies.

Danke Schoen, Darling, Danke Schoen.
Thank you for all the joy and pain.
Picture shows, second balcony, was the place we'd meet,
Second seat, go Dutch treat, you were sweet.

Danke Schoen, Darling, Danke Schoen.
Save those lies, Darling don't explain.
I recall, Central Park in fall.
How you tore your dress, what a mess, I confess.
That's not all.

Danke Schoen, Darling, Danke Schoen.
Thank you for walks down Lover's Lane.
I can see, hearts carved on a tree.
Letters inter-twined, for all time, yours and mine, that was fine.

Danke Schoen, Darling, Danke Schoen.
Thank you for seeing me again.
Though we go on our seperate ways,
Still the memory stays, for always, my heart says, Danke Schoen.

Danke Schoen, Oh Darling, Danke Schoen.
I said, Thank you for seeing me again.
Though we go- on our separate ways,
Still the memory stays, for always, my heart says, Danke Schoen.

Danke Schoen, Auf Wiedersehn, Danke Schoen

fuggle bartnoaal creechekiitu ssays tyhe monster ni my head. His nbame is flaxnjojo buttermug the thrid......the worldis spiininhg like atop

ripples of guilt
Subdued by carnal exhaustion

We grew up way too fast
we blazed a trail and left a path marked for the past to follow
We ran full speed thru the fields
Thru the poppys and the then rose colored moments time revealed

Under the sun we felt the heat
under the microscope we'd see beneath the surface level lies
We'd toss and turn until we fell asleep
and I'm trying hard to wake up
to open up my eyes.

I've been over and over this how
can there be ten thousand things still left to figure out?
Deep into the darkness you retreated
All the time that we spend and the shit that we went
on and on and on about
left me feeling lonely and defeated.

I guess I was drawn to you
you carried me away
took me to another place and left me there
Do you remember what you said
all those promises that you forgot to keep

Tell me now about a new way out
tell me about all that your thinking
Talk to me, just talk to me
don't shut me out
Don't make this any harder than it has to be
Just walk away.

I've been over and over this how
can there be ten thousand things still left to figure out?
Deep into the darkness you retreated
All the time that we spend and the shit that we went
on and on and on about
left me feeling lonely and defeated.

But I'm not gonna let all the shit that we went
on about bring me down
I'm gonna rise up strong and never be defeated
I'm gonna rise up strong and never be defeated

By Brian Travis

My heart is free
Again
My heart is hard
Once more
I am worthy
Again
She is not
Anymore

I wanna dance, I wanna sing
I wanna write some real nasty things
I am free of her memory, my heart sails once more
I took her sweet love shoved it right out the door
Onward and upward to much better things
Cuz it's time to dance
Time to laugh
Time to sing

I dreamt of sunny afternoons
Spent wrapped within your arms
I dreamt of jet black winter nights
The focus of your charms
I dreamt of verdant springtime morns
With you beside me, love
I dreamt of loving smiles and hands
As gentle as a dove
I dreamt I was your sun, my love
My Luna you remain
I dreamt my heart had not been torn
My love was not a stain
I dreamt our love had carried on
We'd never grown apart
I dreamt it all tucked deep within
My sorry broken heart.

...without hating them?

Answer me that and you win gratitude....what do you do when your muse has flown?

How do you move on when you are incomplete, empty and have a cavernous hole in your soul?

People aren't like cars...you shouldn't be able to replace them so easily....

and how does love die?

the crew in my head is having a great debate.....and I sit and listen in and wonder why they all won't just go get jobs and shut up.

The future is just the past that hasn't happened yet....BT, thanks for the insight, the words and the friendship....time to burn down everything, start all over, make it right.

Searching for myself
In the depths of my mind
Where ghosts roam free
From auld lang syne
Whispers of the past
Clash
With future paths
Open, teasing
Promises heralded
Of ghosts unborn
Roads untraveled
Loves unmet
And yet
And yet
I am not to be found
Within my mind
No trace of me
In my heart I find
I am not lost
I am not found
It's to another heart
I'm bound
Let me free
Let me be
I must again
Discover me...

why must women be so two faced?

and why does betrayal hurt so much?

The song by Staind called Believe seem way too apropo for my life right now. Many thanks to my little brother Jon for turning me onto it.

Gotta go to Vegas Faire. Amblefolke will be there which means I will have improv artists worthy of playing with. I have several new and completely original gigs planned for this year. I think my favorite will either be Serenade Me (also called Concerto is Duh Minor) or Don't leave Me Dear. If you want to know what they are you'll just have to come to faire and catch them being performed.

Life's a funny thing. Just when you think you may have a hold of it it tosses you a curve ball that twists your eyeballs around and leaves you spinning in circles. Somehow no matter how hard I try I just don't get women. Someone once told me a certain girl was a control freak and she hated not being able to control people and situations in her life. I didn't see it until I knew her for a few years and finally had a chance to be around her. I don't understand that drive to control everything around you. Maybe if people worked on their life and left the world to others the world would be a better place.

Windows vista sux. The only thing it would be good for is sending to gitmo and forcing prisoners to try to boot up. Then again if the leftists complain about waterboarding they would really flip if we did that.

Sometimes I think Whiskey Lullaby is not as sad as the song seems. Maybe retreating into a bottle isn't so bad. The first line, "She put him out like the burning end of a midnight cigarette" is powerful. I know how that midnight cigarette feels.

Hope comes from within.

What happens when hope has fled? Where does it come from then? Is it like a flower and regrows with TLC and time? Or is it a finite resource and when it's gone it's gone? I know they say hope springs eternal, but I am thinking my spring ahs run dry.

I guess time will tell.

Repression leads to depression.

I may trademark that phrase, it's that good, but I think only myself and one other person would get what I mean by it. What would you mean by it?

Blinded by the Light by Manfred Manns Earth Band is perhaps the silliest song ever written. And one of the catchiest too.

Lost love sings bug me.....when you don't need 'em they are just noise and when you do it's spooky to have life reflections coming from a radio speaker.

If you spend one damned minute trying to understand what comes out of a womans mouth you spend another minute trying to recover from it so you lose two minutes of your life in useless pursuits. Your time is better spent picking your nose or cleaning your ears with someone else's keys. Conversations with females should be limited to what you want to eat, what time YOU will be ready to leave to be somewhere or how nekked you want them to be when you decide to come home.

Nuff siad for now...be back monday night.

Standing alone...
On a rooftop in the city...
Quiet and brooding
Life changes wash over me....
Like moonlight through the fog
Hazy and damp....
Love lost friends found
Soul burning down
Like an uncovered lamp...
The road in life is jarring
And it only leads to hell...
When the heart is broke and lonely
And you can hear death's lonely knell...
Arising like a phoenix
From the ashes of my life...
I await the dawn
With bated breath
To face again the strife...
I shall not be defeated
In victory I shall cry...
A lonely howl to heavens doors
I shall never die