Kenders' Musings

Pinellas Park Fl

Theresa Marie Schindler Schiavo has died after a long battle with life. Struck down under suspicious circumstances in 1990, police originally called it suspicious circumstances, but after being warned by the Lord High Mayor of Pinellas Park, Judge Greer, they changed their official report to reflect The Judges order, and recently have been laying seige to the hospice since Terri feeding tube was removed thirteen days ago.

Terris' feeding tube was removed after her husband, Michael, successfully fought a battle for many years to kill his wife by starvation. Setbacks by those fighting against him, led by Terris' parents, never seemed to deter him, and with the aid of his lawyer "Felching" Felos and the The Judges' devout conviction to the idea of murder by starvation, he never once backed down in his quest to emulate his childhood heroes the Nazis.

Terri is mourned by those in America that still believe that life is sacred and are of the mind that foul play was involved in Terris' case.

In a related development Wall Street analysts have pointed out that stock in Satan Inc. is sky-rocketing today, as speculaters see Terris death as a solid win for the Prince of Darkness and his "Nefarious Plan" put forth thousands of years ago to "Destroy the Soul of Man". Reached on his throne in Hell, Satan commented "While I am sorry that Terri had to die with a clean soul and I won't be able to host her for eternity, I am still looking forward to playing host to the democrats and secularists along with most of europe once their tickets get punched. By the way, send my regards to G.W. We owe him a big thanks what with all of those jihadis he is sending down."

God could not be reached for comment, but his spokesangel Michael, found outside of The Pearly Gates gathering a Host of Angels while sharpening his sword said "While God is saddened, of course, that Terri died at the hands of Evil Men, know that she is in Good Hands here, and she is in fact in a meeting with The Boss this very moment, most likely to be offered a seat on the Board of Holy Vengeance."

The Board of Holy Vengeance is a secretive consultant group that God started putting together just after world war two on the advice of Moses. Moses is rumored to have mentioned to God that locusts and plagues were fine and dandy in the Old Days, but modern man needed punishments that were harsher and harder to combat. It has been widely speculated that Carrot Top is one of the Punishments enacted on the world by The Board, along with Roseanne and Sandra Bernhardt.

The board is said to be comprised of those that die at the hands of Evil, and it has been claimed that Holocaust victims make up the Directors of the Board.