Kenders' Musings

if you have 6 teeth, a googly eye and a 4th grade education you probably aren't gonna get far in life...and I always wondered how someone with 6 teeth didn't drool all the time...

I am looking forward to long island...

I cant believe how much I am on stage this year...

I also cant believe I get to perform at the laugh factory in hollywood...

Florida was a great time and I am looking forward to the next trip there...

I think I have finally decided on what bike I am getting next week...

They made the L.A. County fair longer this year which means more money for me...

I am also looking forward to the run of faire coming up...I think I have 3 shows a day...

The Dallas show may be postponed...

The Chicago one wont be...

Nor will Ohio or San Francisco...

My Riverside fans are now sending me their poetry...

I want to go ice skating with Shel again...

The latest article I sold is about facebook...

Cowardice pisses me off...

I think the state should go after deadbeat dads girlfriends too...

The concept of a mental midget in a family of intelligentsia would make a good sitcom...is "intelligentsia" too big a word for someone with an IQ of 80?

I think the part of the patriot act that connected states, so if you owe money to one state none of the states will issue you a license for anything is a good thing...

I think they should lock deadbeat dads in jail...

I know a dead beat dad...and aside from the state he owes many people mucho dinero...they'll never see it though because, well, he's a deadbeat...funny thing about that is, the ways the laws are set up he will never be able to get out from under it...and will die broke after ruining countless more lives...I think it will make a good movie....we could call it the good, the stupid and the broke-ass-deadbeat dad.

We can get the kid that played Corky to play the dead beat dad...but he's gonna need to dumb it down a bit, because frankly a guy with downs syndrome is simply smarter than the deadbeat dad I know...

Even if he doesn't drool...

Early (way too early) this morning, my dog decided to kill a skunk. Oh, the humanity! My first instinct was to just throw it in the trash. It really, really, really stunk. So, I thought about it, and horribly thought, "Gee, I should call animal control to get rid of this thing."

I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. I have learned, and I promise I will never, ever do so again.

So, I called animal control, and the moron who answered the phone blathered on until he talked to "an officer." Then he said that the officer would be out "to investigate." She came out (about 8 hours later) and took a report. Yes, the dog had a current rabies shot. No, I don't know anything about the skunk. Sure, go ahead and send the head off for rabies check. Everything was fine.

Three hours later, the phone rang.

The "investigator" was calling. She suddenly explained that they were not going to send the head off to determine if it had rabies (I didn't care, because the dog had his shots). But, oh, by the way -- I had three days to get a booster shot for the dog. And by the way, on Monday (this all happened on Saturday), the department would be following up to check on the rabies information I had provided them.

In other words, the call, as I interpreted it:

"You have three days to pay money to get another state-mandated shot, despite already having the state-mandated shot. If you do not, you will be jailed. And we are going to investigate you on Monday to determine if you already have the state-mandated shot. If the number you provided us does not match our records, we will also jail you."

Holy friggin crap.

I plan on doing not a damn thing on Monday. I already vaccinated my damn dog. If the damn vaccination isn't any good, why the hell did I vaccinate the dog? If the damn state wants to come take my dog, I will resist them. If they want to friggin arrest and jail me for not paying for a "booster" shot for the damn vaccination I already paid a state-mandated fee for, they can damn well arrest me. If the sorry-ass "animal investigator" calls me, I'm not answering the damn phone. If the sheriff shows up, he can stand outside and suck eggs until he breaks down my damn door over a damn "booster" shot.

Government really, really sucks. I've always known it, but this is more than enough for me. I've known government sucks, but this is I guess what it takes to make it personal.

I have to classify myself as an anarchist, if this is what government looks like.

the imaginary book