Kenders' Musings

So Algore's Live Earth concerts kicked off in Sydney Australia, under a barrage of attacks from several quarters, including none other than his Royal Highness of Charity Concerts For No Reason, Sir Bob Geldof, who said:

“Live Earth doesn’t have a final goal,"..."Everybody’s known about that problem for years. We are all f***ing conscious of global warming,”

Roger Daltry chimed in with:

The last thing the world needs is a rock concert’

Most likely thinking of all the private jets that shuttled around all of these self serving bastards.

And Matt Helders, the drummer for Artic Monkeys added that it would be:

“a bit patronizing” to think his youthful group could change the world. “Especially when we’re using enough power for 10 houses just for lighting, it would be a bit hypocritical,”

Ya think?

Given recent findings that Greenland once was very green, recently in fact by geologic standards, coupled with the slew of scientists that do not believe in global warming being caused by humans one has to wonder if these morons are reading the same internet.

Now add in the fact that Algore owns a chunk of the biggest carbon credit company out there (BTW, carbon credits are simply a self imposed guilt tax) and that he basically pays himself for his carbon offsets and something really stinks in here, and it isn't the smell of millions of unwashed environutjobs panting breathlessly about how much they save the environment by showering only once every lunar cycle with dew they collect off of the carbon reducing trees they live under next to the overpass.

I think my favorite line of the day was spoken by David Gray, who likened the campaign to save the planet to the threat Britain faced from the Nazis.

No, the campaign to "save the planet" is not a threat like the nazis were. Eventually you idiots out there with your little florescent lights (which I hate because they won't work with a dimmer switch) and all of your recycling (for the record recycling hurts the poor and doesn't pay enough for me to do it) and "green" sensibilities are going to wake up and realize that you are serious fools.

Then instead of greenies we can call you red faced idiots. Seems most of the stuff that the global warming crowd wants to do sounds like old soviet style rules anyway, forcing me to live my life a certain way and taking away my freedom, so red is a better color for you numbnutted twits anyway.

So I will tell you what I am gonna do about global warming:

I will contribute.

That's right, I will contribute to global warming.

I will leave my computer and every 500 watt light bulb on all the damn time.

In fact I have five computers here, and I am gonna make sure they all stay on all the time.

I will continue to not recycle.

I will go out and get a car that guzzles even more gas, and I will alter the exhaust system so I get the maximum amount of EPM (Emissions Per Mile)

I will use as much food that comes pre-packaged and processed as possible. In fact the more packaging the better. I want my food wrapped in a vacuum form container inside of a box that uses no recycled material and I want that box wrapped in shrink wrap plastic, two layers, with tamper proof tape on it that has lead based writing telling me that the tape is there to keep me safe from wackjobs that would poison me, and after this missive I am sure the number of those guys will shoot up some.

I am going to cook over an open fire whenever possible, and if I can, I will try to use wood that has been sprayed with pesticides just so I can release that much more stuff in the atmosphere. In fact I may even start cooking with all of the plastic wrapping that will soon be festooning my house.

I am going to drive everywhere, even to the end of the driveway to get the mail.

I am going to set tires aflame on earth day.

I will let my water hose run all the time, even if I have to let it flood the yard and run down the gutter.

I will let my household faucets stay on, running a stream of water continuously 24-7.....even the bath tub......and I will make sure it is the hot water spigot that is the one running.

I am going to take extra hot, extra long showers......without a water saving nozzle.

I am going to wear my clothes for 15 minutes and immediately wash them on the high water, hot wash, hot rinse setting.

I will make sure to run the dishwasher every time I use a dish....and I will run that on the long hot cycle also.

I will run my AC at 58 degrees all summer, walking around my house in a sweater and ski jacket if I must, but that will be countered by winter, when I will crank the heat up to 88 degrees and lounge around in bermuda shorts.

I will take out all of the trees on my property, and all greenery, and then pay my neighbors to let me take down their trees as well.....then I will use those trees for firewood.

I am going to use one complete roll of toilet paper every time I so much as pass gas.

I am also taking all of the insulation out of my house and replacing the nice new double paned windows with plastic sheeting, on the theory that plastic sheeting is good enough to keep the bugs out.

Better yet I will remove the windows and I will saturate my property with the most noxious chemicals I can get my hands on so that no bugs will live in my yard and be tempted to come into my house.

In short I am going to be the most wasteful SOB on this planet....well, next to Algore, at least..