Kenders' Musings

Do you believe in angels? They do exist you know. Not many people know this but there's a story from long ago which proves it.




Angels watch over us. Most of us never see them, never know they are there or even give them a second thought but they are there, watching over us, helping lead us, protect us and guide us. In a way they serve as guidance counselors and proctors, reporting to God who, omnipotence notwithstanding is actually quite busy these days talking to the Pope.

If you don't believe me just ask the pope.

Now, occasionally in the grand scheme of things due to natural variations and simple random chance some small thing will go awry and unintended consequences will occur that cause things that were never supposed to be. We see this now and then in the four leafed clover and other oddities of nature. Remember this because it becomes vitally important to this tale in mere moments.



Another thing most good folk do not know is our personal angels are with us from birth. They, like us, grow as we do. So the guardian angel of your precious child is the soul of some other womans' child who died at or before birth. People lament the death of a child in birth, but they shouldn't because each person gets one Angel and each Angel gets one person, so God needs these angels to watch over us. Now these angels, if they do their jobs well and keep you safe and help lead you through this chaotic life, they earn a special place in heaven. As you grow so does your angel, watching over you and doing their job of protecting you as you do your job of growing up into a person worthy of the gift of life.



As I said, once in a while in the grand scheme of things something goes awry. In one particular case the thing that went awry was a boy who was born with a gift which allowed him to see his angel. As this young boy grew, and his angel grew, he spoke with his angel, played games with her and spent his days with his guardian angel who quickly became his best friend. As all adults are wont to do they thought the boys imaginary friend was adorable and he had a great imagination, never once realizing the lads special gift.



As the young man and his Guardian angel grew their friendship grew and as they grew into their teen aged years the lad realized his imaginary friend was not so imaginary a friend after all. He held his secret friend close, no longer playing games or having conversations with her within earshot of others. As they grew into adulthood another unintended consequence of the quirk of the young mans gift of being able to see his guardian angel was he fell deeply in love with her, as did she with him.



They both realized their love for one another and knew it could come to nothing.



In the grand scheme of the world men cannot fall in love with, marry and grow old with their guardian angel. The man knew this so he lived his life as a bachelor, occasionally being courted by the women of his village and rebuffing their advances because he loved his guardian angel and knew he could never love another. After a few years the women simply considered him odd and quit courting him altogether which suited him fine as it left him more time alone with the one creature who held his heart completely.



One day while making his supper he suddenly turned to his guardian angel who was sitting in the corner humming and asked her a simple question. "Do you" he asked quietly "speak to God?"



She stopped humming and cocked her head to the side and asked him "Why would you ask me this? You know I am of Him and he knows my thoughts. I hear the song of Heaven in my head and His voice in my heart always." He set his supper pot to the side of the fire and slowly walked over to her. Kneeling before her " he whispered "I know that you are not of this earth, and I know that none but I can see you and I know this goes against it all that has ever been but I Love you. I wish to spend the rest of my life with you. I wish to marry you and for you to grow old with me."



"This cannot be my love" she whispered back, taking his hands in hers, "as it is my charge to simply watch over you and help you lead a life worth living." He looked down at the floor, as he knelt before his love, her hands gently wrapped around his, and slowly looked back up. His voice shaking he whispered "I cannot live like this, ask Him......He who has created all can make you human. I cannot live another day without you as my wife."



She smiled gently and slowly her eyes looked toward the roof of the small cottage the man lived in and for many long moments, with her eyes closed she sat in silence. Finally she looked back down sadly and said "it simply cannot be, it has never been and it is simply my charge to protect you and watch over you. He has said no."



With tears in his eyes he slowly stood up and walked over to his small cupboard. Taking a small vial from behind a jar he looked at his guardian angel and said if "If I cannot have your love in this life, then perhaps the next" and quickly uncorked the small bottle and in one swift movement swallowed the amber liquid within.



Horrified his guardian angel rushed across the room and shrieked "What have you done? What was that?"



Before he could speak his hands started shaking as the vial dropped to the floor and shattered. He smiled and said "it was a poison I secured from the old chemist in Ulster. If I cannot have you in this life then the next. My heart belongs to you for eternity, and creation be damned I shall spend it at your side."



With a look of utter terror on her face she screamed "NO, do you not know it is forbidden to take your own life? You will be damned, your soul will no longer exist because the wages of sin are death, the death of your soul...and never will I look upon you again, please, PLEASE tell me there is an antidote." As his legs buckled and he fell to the floor a sadness came across his face as he whispered "there is no antidote. I would rather exist not at all than live without your love." Tears welled up in his eyes as he hoarsely whispered "I am sorry my heart. Please forgive me."



His breath rattled for a few more moments as she knelt over him and held his hands. Tears welled up in her eyes as his eyes slowly closed, his life slipping from his body. She knelt over him for several minutes with God's voice in her head.



Finally she asked "Why?" "Why" she asked Him stridently in her head "would you NOT make this exception. He Loved me. Your greatest gift is our capacity to love one another as You love us.......why would you be so cruel?"



"MY CHILD, HE HAS PROVEN HE WOULD RATHER NOT EXIST THAN TO EXIST AWAY FROM YOUR LOVE. YOUR LOVE IS MY LOVE, WHICH MEANS HE WOULD RATHER NOT EXIST THAN TO EXIST WITHOUT MY LOVE. LOVE IS LIFE. LOVE TAKES EXISTENCE AND TURNS IT TO A LIFE WORTH LIVING. I AM SORRY FOR YOUR PAIN, BUT I HAVE GIVEN FREE WILL AND HE HAS CHOSEN."



"But I LOVED him" she screamed aloud. "Why could I not have his love too?"



Angrily God said "YOU WOULD CHOOSE THE FRAIL LIFE OF A HUMAN TO KNOW HIS LOVE AND NOT KNOW MINE?"



"I know your love....it is eternal and I cannot lose it. But I have lost his love and my heart is broken."



"THEN WEEP FOR YOUR LOST LOVE, MY CHILD" said God sadly



At these words and the realization that she would never again look upon her love, kneeling over his body, she wept.



The tears flowed freely. They ran down her cheeks, dripping onto his tunic, staining his chest with her tears. Her sobs wracked her body, shaking every fiber in her and her wails reached to the very gates of heaven itself.



It is said angels have no reason to cry so the tears of angels do to not exist. This is, of course, not true. And angels tears are the tears of God. The tears of angels possess the very power of life, but only God knows this.



The tears of the angel stained the tunic of her love. They soaked thru to his skin. They soaked thru his skin into his chest. They soaked thru his chest and bathed his heart. The angels tears, bathing the heart of her love touched the Heart of God.



Suddenly the man, who moments before had watched the crying face of his guardian angel, the creature he loved more than all else fade from his sight as his life left him found himself standing before God.



"YOU HAVE ASKED THE IMPOSSIBLE" He said simply, quietly to the somewhat surprised man standing before Him.



"Nothing is impossible for you, all I asked was what you gave, Love." He retorted, somewhat harshly.



"SHE IS NOT FOR YOU TO LOVE" said God "SHE IS SIMPLY THERE TO HELP GUIDE YOU."



"It is not for you to decide who I love. You gave me free will and I willingly chose to love her. You sent her to me, she is OF you, there is no more perfect love than one sent from you."



His voice rising God asked the man "TO BE AWAY FROM THE LOVE OF HER, AND ME, YOU WOULD CHOOSE DEATH?"



Looking down atthe floor the man, almost inaudibly whispered "Without her death is preferable. To live without her love is not a life. It is living in a garden of the most succulent fruits and lacking a mouth. It is a life of living as a soulless creature. Why exist if I cannot know a love so pure?"



God stared at the man for many long moments and finally, quietly said "YOUR DEVOTION IS ADMIRABLE. PURE LOVE AND FAITH IN THAT LOVE IS THE GIFT OF EVERLASTING LIFE. IT IS YOURS."



The tears of the angel that stained the tunic, that soaked the chest, that seeped through the bones and bathed the heart of the lifeless body of the beloved of the guardian angel who knelt over her love soaked finally through that lifeless heart and with a gasp the man awoke, his eyes flying open with surprise as his breath came in ragged gasps.



The angel, kneeling over her love, gasped also and arched her back, her arms flying wide as she screamed. Her wings spread out, reaching across the entire small cottage as her scream continued and the feathers fell to the ground and turned to dust. Moments later, wingless, she collapsed. The man went to her and held her gently in his arms as her eyes opened and she looked into his eyes and said "it's so quiet." "What do you mean?" he asked.



She looked at her hand and pinched the back of it until it ran red with blood and she winced. Quietly, in a slightly surprised voice she said "I can't hear Him" and her hands began to shake. Tears sprang to her eyes as she shakily whispered "I am human."



Realizing the woman he loved gave up being an angel, became a mortal and surrendered God's special favor for his heart, for his love, caused the tears to pour from him as he held her tightly while kneeling on the floor of his small simple cottage.



They lived a quiet life of pure love for many years, both of them passing in their sleep peacefully, and not completely coincidentally, on the same night. It has been many years since the man who could see angels and his once angelic love lived upon this earth. Their graves are marked by two stately trees, an oak and an ash, the branches of which twine together, deep in a forest far from the cities of man. Legend says if lovers join beneath these trees during a rain storm when an Angels tears drip from the leaves that their love will live forever, blessed by God and watched over by guardian angels who will sing gently in their dreams of the man who could see angels.