I Pledge

Breitbarts article on Big Hollywood ridiculing celebrities for making a pledge to better the world and work with our new messi-I mean president after spending 8 long years denigrating the former President and making anyone who supported him want to strangle them for their arrogant stupidity is a work of genius, of course, because well, it's Breitbart. But he inspired me to put together my own pledge list, and the video version will hopefully be out soon.

I pledge to give as much of a chance to Obama as his sycophantic cultic moonbat contingent gave Bush for eight years

I pledge to contribute to global warming

I pledge to increase foreclosures on the unwashed masses

I pledge to exploit the poor and the weak

I pledge to grind my heel into the working mans back

I pledge to tell more racist jokes

I pledge to hire more illegals, and screw American workers

I pledge to pay my illegal workers lower wages

I pledge to destroy the environment

I pledge to club more baby seals

I pledge to wear more fur

I pledge to eat more meat

I pledge blindly hate people not like me

I pledge to be greedier

I pledge to be meaner

I pledge preach at you more, and tolerate you less

I pledge to work for war, because there is no money is peace

I pledge to laugh at stupid celebrities who think pledges will change the world

I pledge to be more close minded, spout more platitudes and believe in utterly empty kumbuy-friggin-yah measures while the wolves howl at the door.

What’s your pledge?

I pledge to treat their president as they treated mine, to treat them as they treated us, because together we can, together we are and together we will be following sheep.

What's your pledge?